Intellectual Scurvy

Smoking kills again.. and again.

2007-10-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

Yet another strike against tobacco... how many does it get?

When I get home, it's hard to maintain the love...

2007-10-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

For computers that is.

I work with computers, I sit at one all day.

There is a massive shift happening in our world and it has to do with computers. All forms of media are jockeying for position in this new paradigm. The dot com boom of a few years ago was like an attack that got swatted down. People could see the future but just couldnt quite grasp ahold of it and shake off the chains of tradition.

Uberconnectivity.

The way we shop, the way we talk, the way we are entertained, the way we meet and connect to others, it's all changed.

Once mighty record companies are clinging madly to their 'traditional rights' and vestiges of power. Sowing fear uncertainty and doubt is the order of the day. They still have money and power but it is dwindling rapidly and if they continue to resist, they will be swept away to join bygone historical institutions. They used to control the only connections to the market, making and breaking artists at their whim. Those with the foresight to change and adapt will survive... those who dont.... well.

Television networks will be next. On demand delivery over the internet is growing, once a novely it is gaining speed. More and more companies startup and jockey for position to try and gain an advantage over their rivals.

These are just examples of traditional forms of media that we think will always be there. Shopping, dating, working, communicating.. all these things can be done in non-traditional ways.

I'm shifting my thinking in order to even slightly grasp it. Software products and services offered for free? How? Why? I've always had to pay for things... I go to work, earn a paycheck and go to a store and buy things.

Now the payment is coming indirectly. Google Ads are everywhere! The money is domestic and international and it's BIG! A highly valued company one day, an obsolete technology literally the next.... and it's happening faster and faster because one technological breakthrough breeds multiple others and each one has it's own offspring and so on.

It's a wild ride and quite something to see. Will it stop? And what will happen to the world when/if it does?

I believe there are services that will always be needed. Though if I am to survive, I have to accept that my world, no matter how solid it seems can be changed in an instant... begging the question: is it all real?

Maybe it's the race itself that is virtual.

I definately feel a tangible 'disconnect' from the rush when I can just go home and enjoy time with my family... I can feel joy and peace there and for a while I am grounded... until I have to leave.

I would have to say family is real... and though the world will try and change the meaing of 'family' (or destroy it all together) ... there is only one true definition in my mind.

Everybody talks about Britney Spears too much.

2007-10-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

Who really gives a crap about what some over-rich immature celebrity is doing right this second? ........... A lot of people apparently.

I just feel like talking about something close to my inner geek.

The amount of 'free' software that is being released so far makes me wonder. What's really 'free' ? I like free stuff, but in my experience there is always a cost. Whether the gain is monetary or serving a specific purpose. Nobody does anything for 'free'. Everyone needs money to live.

There might be one or two people 'living' off the land, sequestering themselves away from society. However even these people need money because governments will eventually find them and take away whatever they can if they dont have money to pay taxes (one of only two sure things in life).

So what free applications do I like?
A few pieces of software that I enjoy.

Fotoflexer
I just discovered this one...For an online photo editor it's pretty amazing. Too many features to list, but just the ability to 'remove' someone from a photo easily is worth checking out. Also, the fact that every feature seems to have a demo video so anyone can do amazing things almost immediately.

OpenOffice
Im not sure why OpenOffice is free, but it's pretty good. Considered by many as THE alternative to MS Office, if you dont want to shell out hundreds of dollars and dont need the fanciest office bells and whistles... it is pretty impressive. I use it at home and havent got/heard any complaints.

Google Applications
Specifically Reader, GMail, Picasa... Blogger. If you dont mind the ads, the amount of applications that keep piling up under the Google umbrella is pretty astounding. All you have to do is click on the 'More' link on the google homepage to see em all. Sometimes they're in the Labs section if they're not quite ready for an official release.

I use Google Reader everyday... any of my favorite websites that have an RSS feed gets a subscription and it saves an amazing amount of 'surfing' time. It just brings everything to you in one place and you can get a summary of what's new without having to visit all your favorite destinations. When you first install it as part of your 'google' account, you can select 'packages' of subscriptions in categories you might be interested in. I was introduced to quite a lot of pretty cool content that way.

Anyways, Im not a tech blogger (or much of a blogger at all lately) and there are a lot of other cool 'free' applications out there... In my experience, NOTHING that is good will stay free so take advantage of this stuff while you can.

I Love to Read

2007-09-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

It's definately about the escape for me... not exclusively of course. I don't get lost in the story of 'Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too' when Im reading to my son... though there was that one time Tigger got stuck in tree... priceless... There's just something about spending some time with a book that holds such a great appeal to me. It helped me through my teenage years (and beyond), taking me on adventures, teaching me about the world, introducing me to new ideas, comforting me in hard times and introducing me to friends that I'll remember fondly (even if they are only figments of my imagination). To this day, even though I have video games, movies and toys galore, I feel incomplete when I go through literary droughts where I don't have a good book to read.

From a very young age I had a love of reading. The adventures are what really caught me up. Particularily JRR Tolkein, CS Lewis and pretty much any author that could spin a tale about exciting journeys in fantastic lands or future times. Good books would keep me up all night reading and frequently caused me to miss my first couple classes in the morning in high school because I had been lost in another world.

A few years ago I stumbled upon a series that really blew me away. The depth and scope of the world this author created captivated me like no other story before it or since. The characters were believable (notwithstanding the typical suspension of disbelief required to enjoy a fantasy world in the first place), the action exciting, the writing colorful and engaging. To me it is perfection in print and a standard to be held against all other writers and sagas in any genre that cross my literary path.

The Wheel of Time has been going on since the early 90's and the main series is 11 (very large) books with a few spinoff stories. It's been going on for so long that I never really felt it was going to end..... Until now.

I never personally knew the author, in fact I only found out upon his demise that his real name is James Rigney. Last year I was wondering what was taking the 'final' 12th book so long and in my searching found myself at his official blog where I found out that he was afflicted with a serious blood disease and was literally fighting for his life. He sounded positive in his last few posts which gave me reason to hope he would be all right and perhaps one day the series would be finished. This week however upon perusing my daily news one story stopped me short and gave me great pause.

Robert Jordan is dead.

All I can really grieve for is the story and how he will never finish it and I wonder if that's selfish on my part. I think though that a writer connects with his readers through his works and on a certain level the reader gets to know the author... a certain level being the key.

In general, people only get to know the personalities that we allow them to see. Personally I have had the experience where people have said to me that I am nothing like my first impression and it's only upon spending time with me that they understand who I am. The Robert Jordan personality that I know may not be the James Rigney that his family knew, but I connected with Robert Jordan, I laughed and cried as he told me stories and kept me company at times in my life when I felt I had no one else....

I mourn for the loss of that friend.

My Inner Child Has Special Needs

2007-09-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

Some people say that I havent fully grown up yet , so whether or not the inner child in me is taking over might be a moot point.

Lately there's been a lot of 'elements' affecting the peaceful maelstrom that is usually the norm. Im trying to get a garage in place before the winter hits, Im waiting for a car to be delivered from the states (which is a topic in and of itself), Im trying to get a workout schedule going, eating right, my wifey is preggo (which has all kinds of radiant energy).... not to mention just plain life... work, sleep, fatherhood, church calling..... each day seems to ascend to a 'whole nuvva levaa'.

Im back in the world of contractors with this whole garage thing. I understand the job juggling thing and why they do it. Trying to be multitaskers and all that. However, why do I generally run into those who do it badly? Probably because most contractors are guys and guys generally dont juggle things very well.... unless you're one of those cirque du soleil guys and Im pretty sure they're gay.

I got pretty worked up yesterday about the guy who was pouring the concrete pad (at $10 a square foot). He had mismanaged his time, only coming to work on my yard about an hour a day and therefore wasnt ready when the concrete truck came to deliver the concrete. I was at work and unable to watch what was going on, but from my wife's description they were scrambling.... which never bodes well for quality.... EVER! I went home at lunch and saw that he'd ripped the stairs off my deck for starters also I didnt see gravel under the concrete pad. After work when I posed the gravel question (Did you put a layer of gravel there?) He said he had put gravel under there.... but Im pretty sure he's F***ING LYING! No way to prove it though, unless I want to rip up the pad to prove a point. His excuse for rippin up the stairs? 'I wanted to save you money because it costs extra to get the cement poured and I couldnt get past the pad to pick up the piles of dirt and stuff'. Really? Oh thats ok then.......... NOT!! If he hadnt squandered the days before, there would've been plenty of time to get things prepared properly! Not to mention, I'm paying $10 a square foot for CONCRETE! I hate contractors... they're criminals these days and they all have the attitude: 'you should feel privelaged to be 'fiscally raped' by a guy like me because (obviously) if you called me to do the work it means you're incompetent and cant handle real work'. It couldnt possibly be just because Im working full time in an atmosphere where education is a prerequisite and I just dont have the time and tools to do it myself! I was under the impression that $10 a square foot meant just that! It includes the concrete no matter if it's poured from a truck or dumped by the President of the United States helicopter! (silly I know, I'm sure it's not equipped for that.... though when you think about it, at a cost of $50000 per hour to fly you think it would be able to do pretty much anything).

Well... I feel a little better now.....

Apparently my inner child needed to throw a tantrum.

Summer is for slackers

2007-07-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

I have sinned... It's been almost 2 months since my last confession.

I was chastised yesterday by my relationship boss... She reminded me that I haven't updated this thing in like forever and it was pissing her off. I wouldnt normally respond to such criticism but it was delivered in tones of such grandiose mocking 'Reason is one letter away from Season....' nyah nyah nyah.

THAT I couldnt ignore.

So what to talk about...

I've established a morning routine. I go through my 'favorite' list of webcomics and then check Google Reader to check on the stories of the day. Most of my subscriptions are very geeky in nature. Lifehacker, Digg (which all by itself is a festering time quagmire), PC World, TechAmok, etc, etc are among the regular courses I digest during my extended intellectual breakfast.

Digg is by far the funniest. People from all over post stories that they see elsewhere (with links to the original stories/articles) and then discuss. It's a pretty cutthroat discussion because comments are 'rated' good or bad (thumbs up or down) and nobody's very tolerant of ignorance or stupidity. There are people firmly entrenched in 'camps' (Microsoft, Apple, Sony, Nintendo, etc), these are generally branded fanboys and they get into the most wicked verbal warfare. Language aside, humor wins in these battles and logic is pretty much ignored. Good times indeed.
Not all conversations end up this way, some are serious. In a way Digg is a club in the vein of book clubs, but where anything and everything goes.

So with that said http://digg.com/ is my Summer Slacker Destination of the Day... enjoy!

Reason... it's only one letter away from season.

2007-06-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

As the electronic media invades our lives, it's easy to get lost.

I see my son and wonder how the TV he watches (Dora the Explorer, Little Einsteins, Go Diego Go, Veggie Tales) is really affecting him. There are so many studies by 'experts' that the water is murky and clouded. I know that he loves watching anything with Fun characters and music. He dances and jumps around and it's entertaining to watch him. At the same time, I wonder if it's too much too soon. Too much stimulation ...

I'm sure my parents said the same thing about whatever advancements there were when I was a kid.

I know that there's always gotta be a scapegoat for things. Some kind of explanation for why kids behave the way they do. It's the way adults think. It's comforting to be able to explain something and if you cant explain it... well thats just unacceptable because everything has an explanation. Kids these days are into video games so that must be the problem. When I was a kid, it was TV or Role Playing Games like D&D. My parents? I believe the problem was Rock and Roll music. Their parents? Big band music I suppose. Too sexy by far...

Dont get me wrong , these days there's more access to ideas and materials to act on ideas than ever before. There's the constant! Kids can be trusted to pretty much do one thing.... Experiment! Without reason, they will try something because it is there. Thats it, the only reason... its there right in front of them. In the back of their heads are the echos of their parents (if they have them) mumbling something, but curiousity will win most of the time. Actually, personality will win. Not all kids are the same. There are a million books out there on how to raise your kids, and there can be a million more written because there are millions of kids and they're all different. One will act badly because of TV, one will act good because of TV, one will be shy, one outgoing, etc etc.

There are few 'truths' that I've heard out there that can be applied to all children. One is that they are little people and the very idea of growing up is that they do indeed grow up. As a parent I have the responsibility to try and instill values and teach that there are consequences to actions because there are... The value teaching has to be done early while they'll still listen, after they reach sentience (probably between 8 and 12) it's nothing but action = consequence. As they learn I transfer responsibilities for their own lives onto them and hopefully they do alright.

I've certainly made a lot of mistakes and I'm sure my kid(s) will learn from some and repeat others no matter what I say or do. I learned the same way and though some were painfull... thats life.

The Universe is Expanding

2007-05-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

... and yet my world is getting smaller everyday.

I thought that the more experience that I had in my field the more options that I would have in the work field. Not so, instead I have the feeling that I'm being 'funneled'... typecast perhaps. The more responsibilities that are piled on, the less options that I appear to have.

In my latest move, a few things were made clear.
One, I have a lot of 'stuff'. Probably too much stuff. I'm contemplating a garage sale to get rid of some of the stuff we've been packing around from place to place. Or maybe I should just chuck it. A friend who was helping made the comment that we hadnt moved enough if I was still hanging onto the back issues of 'Mens Health'.

I dont subscribe to that magazine anymore. Part of me gave that idea up a long time ago. There's a idiot inside though that still recognizes the value of the information contained in the pages and the mizer (packrat) part of me says hey maybe I'll need it again one day and I wouldnt want to be without it.

I hate taking steps backwards... to me it feels like I'm losing if I do. I've taken a few gambles in my life and for the most part have come out ahead. At the times that I've rolled the dice though I cant say that I had that much to lose. Now? It's a different story.

I find myself treading carefully here... a misstep and I'm not the only one who suffers.

I dont long for my single days, I had different problems then ... but I really like the song 'Consequence Free' by Great Big Sea.

I like it rough....

2007-05-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

I'm hurting.... and not in a good way.

We're 95% moved out of our old house and into the new. There's still a piano in the basement, a few things in the garage, and some odds and ends here and there. If there's one thing this move reminded me of, is that hiring movers is a good thing. You get to sit back and watch the work. When you get friends to help, you still have to work your ass off! It was good that we had some help, but Im in pain!

The process has been bloody long. From the moment I accepted this assignment, to the preparation to come up here, to the month up here by myself, the attempt to build a house, the rental, the first move, the months and months of f&$%ing renovations, the sale of the old house, the buying of the new house, and now the latest move.... what the hell was I thinking!?!

You would think that financially the whole thing probably paid off..... nope! Once I factor in all the costs, the moves, the renos, the trips back and forth, the insane marketplace, and all the excrement I described above.... it puts me back to where I started and maybe even a little further behind than that.

Was it good for my family? The jury's still deliberating. Im closer to work, though I've had to work 10 hour days pretty much from the start, so thats a wash. We havent had a chance to relax and enjoy anything, so that's been a big stress. I'd like to say that things will change and hopefully they will.

We're almost down to one house.... almost. Of course now as we focus our attention on the house we see all the crap that needs to be done on this one......

Condiments make things tasty!!

2007-05-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

I started this blog with a chip on my shoulder and serious need for an outlet (one that wouldn't wind up with me incarcerated) all you have to do is go back to the beginning of my posts to see how enormous the wood was (even if only in my mind).

Now as the fog begins to lift, so does my disposition. I still have plenty that I could humorously gripe about... though as I purvey the smorgasbord of options, I wonder to what purpose?

I suppose that's why I haven't written in a while. Unsure of what to write, I was caught in a doldrums-like state with no winds of inspiration to drive me. That and I got lazy... really lazy. After 9 months of hard work I kicked back and said f(*& it!

I decided to visit my blog today however and saw that there were new comments! Oh joy of joys my life has meaning again! Pffffft! ............Seriously though, it sparked enough of a desire to break the inertia of mental purgatory that I've been in..... at least for a bit anyhow.

So what to talk about? video games? tech crap? news? politics? sports? family life? I suppose I can do a little of 'all of the above'. There's certainly a lot of griping left to do! I still have to move yet again! One more voice of 'reason' amongst all the crazy people mumbling to themselves will most likely be indistinguishable from white noise

There's also one thing for sure. I'm not dedicated enough to have multiple blogs..... so a mishmash it will stay!

A Good Weekend

2007-04-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

Not being able to recall a previous weekend where I was actually able to enjoy it with my family, I would have to say this was a very good weekend indeed.

We started by buying a house. Yes indeed, the deal is done. Well, unless the house inspection finds something, but thats (knock on wood) highly unlikely. Crap, maybe I just jinxed it.

The rest of the weekend was spent mostly playing and relaxing and was capped off by a great sunday. After church, my wife made a Ham. I capitalize Ham because this was the God of all Hams. Truly an amazing feat! It was her first ham which is even more amazing. A bone-in hickory smoked ham to start off with, she cooked it to perfection, basting it regularily with a glaze that will haunt my memory for time and all eternity. It was comprised of maple syrup, brown sugar, dijon mustard, love, and a little apple orange banana juice to add a little more moisture. My words really dont do it justice....

After that fantastic Ham, we took Jacob out for his first Easter Egg Hunt.

Pure. Joy.

For the first time in a loooong time, we felt normal again.

The day was beautiful.

Jacobs Web Album

2007-04-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

I comprised an album of some of my favorite pictures of Jacob's life so far.

Jacobs Web Page

Happy Happy Joy Joy ...

2007-04-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

The longer you go without doing something, the easier it is to put it off even longer.

Blogging, taxes... you name it... I'm hard pressed to think of something that is easier to do the longer you put it off. So why do I do it?

The House is closed. That angry chapter in my life is almost over...... bring on the next angry one!

Actually, Im kind of enjoying the homeless limbo I find myself in. It would be better if house prices werent so crazy here which cause us to panic-buy a new house.... and there's still the interim expenses till the possession date kicks in.... and the fact that we have to get serious about getting another house... and there's work... oh and bills ... .... and taxes ...... ... ..... .... .... .. crap.

You never fully appreciate the lack of responsibility when you have it (or dont have it?). I suppose that's part of that particular state of joy. Not that it was true joy... more like ignorant bliss. When I was there, I never thought too much about the future. I wasnt thinking "How great this lack of anything pressing is!". There wasn't any balance to it. I lacked the things that would truly make me happy. The opposition is there so that when I finally get a break it really means something. Of course, Im still waiting for the break....... hopefully when it comes it will be the good kind of break....

Fini

2007-03-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

After all the angry maniacal raves, the sleep deprivation sessions, the work, the anguish, the good times, the bad times, the triumphs, the failures, the thousands and thousands of dollars .... it's done.

Sunday at 11:00pm we walked out the door and turned out the lights.

It didnt feel how I thought it would though. As I looked around at the empty rooms, all the memories started to come back to me and I felt sadness. I've been hating this house for months! Now Im sad thats its done?!? That's messed up.

Last night I was feeling conflicted as I drove. I turned on the radio and 'Alive' by Edwin was playing (really, it was!). That made me think I should be happy..... just to be alive apparently.

I know why Im sad (there are a lot of good memories in that house, it's our first house, Jacob was born there, the amount of work, etc) but... WHERE'S MY F$^%ING JOY?! My sense of satisfaction ?!? Something? Anything?

Maybe its the fact that this is just another step. We still are going to buy another house. Most likely really soon before the market goes crazy yet again.

Anyways, the place is done, I'll sort out my feelings as I go.

Welcome! To Fantasy Island!!

2007-03-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

I think even my wife has stopped reading this due to the sporadic frequency attributed to my posts.

The house is almost done. I cant let myself be jubilant yet, therein lies the path to disappointment. When the last task is done, the house is listed, sold, and I actually can see the money in my account, then I will believe. Has faith been pounded out of me? Its the same feeling I get when Im in an airport. I cant relax until Im through security, the boarding gate and Im actually sitting on a plane. Im sure there's some psychological disorder attributed to it. If not, I hereby claim this malady as 'Anthotic'.

'Im sorry sir, there's nothing to be done. You're really quite Anthotic. There's no cure Im afraid. We can prescribe some drugs to lesson the effect, you wont be cured but you wont care.'

The House (dun dun dun dah!) actually looks pretty great. There are 1 or 2 little things to do and then clean up and thats it, finally. I tell myself that it's still November 2006. Thats when we wanted it done and on the market.... ha!

Next weekend for sure... I'll take pictures!

The Pot Never Boils

2007-02-27T07:36:00.000-08:00

For weeks... months really, nobody contacts me from work. I go away for one week to work on my house and suddenly Im in demand. Emails, voice mails, etc . It took me all monday morning to go through.

I have this feeling of general blah. I havent had an original thought in weeks. My only reality seems to be determined by a house. The really self flaggelating thing is we plan to do this again (and possibly again) in the future. The only way to get a mortgage down to a truly manageable amount is the 'Property Ladder'. Though the lottery would be nice as well...

This is the reality of today in Alberta. Oh I know it's not just here, but it's really nutty here. I dont know where the money is coming from. People say it's all the oil but who really gets that money? It doesnt trickle down to the common employee. The big companies are the ones raking it in and they dont like to share. I should know, I'm one of the little people. Actually, Im probably somewhere in the shrinking middle... but thats not the point.

Where the big money is, if you are a little person, seems to be in the trades. A tradesperson in Alberta has a license to print money it seems. They charge what they want, show up when they want and generally dont seem to have to answer to anyone. Specifically, construction contractors. I dont want to stand too high here, but man.... the stories I've heard are downright criminal.... and they're considered reality! 'You have to expect that when dealing with contractors' WHY!?! Why do I have to expect that when dealing with contractors?

Why is it that when a service becomes in demand, those delivering the service suddenly decide to take the low road and deliver less for more? Is it fear? Get all you can while you can.

Simply because you CAN charge more for doing less (and with less quality), doesnt mean you should.

I'd like to hear some positive stories for a change about contractors doing more for less....

Why is that statement so funny?

Dissatisfaction

2007-02-05T08:25:00.000-08:00

It's been a little while since I posted last. Just havent felt inspired I guess... I havent been emotional enough ... good or bad.
Not that Im doing this for anyone else (though if anyone is actually reading this, I do like comments cause then it feels more like a conversation). Anyways, on with the show.

On the good side of things, I got some work done on the house. Mostly some plumbing type work in the bathrooms. I cant say I got as much done as I'd have liked, but I ran into some issues along the way and had to 'make it right'. We've set a goal of putting up the house for sale in March. There's quite a bit still to do, but I think we should be able to accomplish it. I will probably have to take some vacation time though. I get giddy over the idea of actually having the place done. I literally get chills.

On the darker side of things...
Why are some people so crazy? What switch goes off in someone's head that tells them it's ok to be a complete and utter idiot?

We drove down to Calgary on Thursday night. We being Catherine, Jacob, and I. I was passing a silver car on my right and this truck comes flying up behind us. Im still beside the silver car so I cant pull over yet. The truck flashes the high beams but I still cant quite pull over. So what does he do? He cuts off the silver car on my right barely missing it, then proceeds to pull into my lane causing me to slam on my brakes and pull onto the shoulder! He didnt just cut me off, he actually tried to hit us! I had no time to think, I just reacted. If my reactions had been wrong.....

Heart pounding, I didnt know what to do next.... do I follow and try to get the cops on this guy? His actions have shown he has no inhibitions about using his car as a weapon.... and I've got my wife and 19 month old son in the car. I couldnt take the chance that this night would turn into The Night My Life Was Ruined... so I watched helplessly as he sped off down the road. It was a pretty messy night, license plates were caked with mud, there was nothing we could call in.

Jacob slept through the whole thing, Cath and I really couldnt believe what we experienced....

What possesses a person to do something like that? He really couldnt wait 10 seconds for me to be able to safely pull over? I guess I'll never know what was going on there and can only hope that the guy (or girl I guess) doesnt go on to kill someone else.

Im dont wanna brood over this, I just wanted to get the experience off my chest.

Though a big part of me shakes with rage and a desire to find that idiot.... but what then? Really.... what would I do? Beat him up? Smash his truck? In doing these things, I would break the law and probably have to pay. There is no satisfaction there, the only course of action that would be have been just is if there was a cop right there and could have brought the law down on him. But there wasnt, and I know realistically that I dont have enough evidence to find the guy and charge him.

So he gets away with it and will probably do it again...

007

2007-01-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

I finally got to see Casino Royale on the weekend and I must say that I was very impressed.

As a kid I loved everything about the James Bond series ... the gadgets, the toys ..... the sexy women!?! They were always so fantastic, so unreal, that you couldnt really imagine James Bond as a real person, he was more of a superhero.

Until now...

I love the new direction they're taken with James Bond. He's a little closer to reality. Exchanging toys and gadgets with quick thinking and incredible athleticism was a smart move. Looking through my 'adult' eyes, he's still far above my meager abilities , yet he still makes mistakes and then is able to overcome them. He looks the part and is not afraid to win by any means necessary, be it quick thinking or simple brute strength. I liked Pearce Brosnan but could never realistically picture him winning a fight in the UFC octagon. I wouldnt bet against Daniel Craig though and I think 'James Bond' would do fairly decent in the ring being a 00 agent and all.

Bottom Line: A must see and worth the price of admission.

Anyways, the movie was the cap of a pretty decent weekend. I did a little work on the house, got some baseboards done, ran a few errands, spent some time with the family. All in all not a bad stint.

Yea though I walk....

2007-01-18T10:04:00.000-08:00

Devoid of emotion, I walk the walk of the damned. A curious shuffling gait interspersed with incoherent mumblings.
No longer do colors (the reds, the blues, the yellows.... the fuscias) fill my world. The vibrant hues that decorated my past have been washed out, changing the world from a rich summer into a cold dim mid-winter twilight.

The hollow echoes serve to amplify what would otherwise be silence. Once music played here.... happy music which filled the soul with hope and love. Now there is only the muffled sound of footsteps, pausing every so often, then continuing.... ever continuing.

The smells... oh the smells.... once my world was filled with the smell of freshly baked cookies. Now... I... smell........ oatmeal? As the tantalizing olfactory memories fade... were they real? Have I fabricated them?

My mouth salivates as I visualize how a nanaimo bar tastes..... tasted.... I did eat them once. Unless I've gone insane as well....

The dark chocolate topping melts and dances across my taste buds, the sugary yellow icing ignites a reaction that quickens my pulse and causes my nerves to shiver. The coconut fudge base provides a firm foundation which ties and binds the components into a perfectly formed union of all that is right and good in the universe.

The memory causes my eyes to moisten in remembrance....

Gone ..... gone are the joyous days of spring ....
.
.
.

Im on a diet.
.
.
.

Let the good times roll...

2007-01-15T08:38:00.000-08:00

OK, so the last post was a little out of character. Plus, I didnt mention that the song was the theme from The Littlest Hobo, one of the favorite shows from my childhood days. Some people got it, others thought I wrote a song about a dog (Hee Hee).

The weekend didnt turn out like I planned. I had a self-created long weekend. I worked 10 hour days last week and took the friday off. Thursday night we rolled into Cowtown and just as we got there the little guy threw up the fries we had slipped him. We chalked that up to bad fast food and went about our thing on Friday. Friday night he didnt seem so hot and early in the morning I was awakened by my wife who said Jacob was having trouble breathing. I rocked the little guy to sleep but he would wake up frequently with really bad coughing. I awoke Cath and we decided to head to the Childrens hospital because after talking with family and friends we figured out he had croup. It was confirmed at the hospital and we were admitted into the ER there.

There were several heartbreaking times during this ordeal. The first being as we were preparing to go to the hospital, I was finally getting him to cheer up by playing with some balls with him. He loves balls.... its one of the few words in his repetoire. I had to drag him away from the balls to take him to the car and as we are leaving he is crying in a choked little voice and saying 'ball'! 'ball'! Then we get him to the Childrens Hospital and we cheer him up in the waiting room where there are a myriad of toys and activity stations (probably the best thing about the new hospital), only then we take him to a little room where there is nothing to do and people constantly come in and cause him nothing but pain and distress. Poor little guy.....

They have an oral steroid there but it takes 4 hours to kick in and in the meantime there is a kind of vaporizing treatment (cant remember what is in it). They have to hold a mask over the child's face for 7 minutes. Jacob cannot stand things near his face. He REALLY cant stand being held down or restrained in any way and he is extremely strong for his size. You can imagine how it went. I could see the terror in his eyes. He fought and screamed the entire time with all his strength. He didnt let up... not once. I really had to work hard to hold him. Not to mention it was one of the most emotionally painful things I've ever done.

In most cases, they only have to do the mask treatment once but either his croup was bad enough or he just didnt get enough, but we wound up having to do it again an hour later.... and again he fought. I am amazed at how strong and determined he is.... and stubborn. Thankfully the second round took hold and after a very long time of being in an uncomfortable little examination room (they really need to rethink their setup) we were able to take him home.
During that monitoring time, they were not able to take his vitals as the first site of anyone besides Cath and I getting close to him would upset him greatly. The nurse just gave up and came back after we got him to sleep.

A funny little side effect of the steroid? It makes the kid hyper! Saturday night we are wasted from no sleep and Jacob's running laps. It was good to see him active though.

He is doing better now and the rest of the weekend (such as it were) was just spent trying to recover. He still coughs and is more clingy than usual, but doesnt sound like a seal, which is good.

Nothing really adequately prepares you for this parenting gig....

In my head the hills are alive....

2007-01-11T14:16:00.000-08:00

Try to make it through this post without singing... I highly doubt the possibility of it... and yes if you sing in your head it still counts. I cant even go through it without seeing dogs and thinking of fonder days where dogs saved people instead of having to be put down because they bit someone who most likely deserved it. Dogs get a bad rap these days.... we've let our best friends down.

Ready?
1 .. 2 .. 3 ..

THERE'S A VOICE,THAT KEEPS ON CALLING ME.
DOWN THE ROAD,IS WHERE I'LL ALWAYS BE.
EVERY STOP I MAKE,
I'LL MAKE A NEW FRIEND.
CAN'T STAY FOR LONG, JUST TURN AROUND AND I'M GONE AGAIN.

MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANNA SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON

DOWN THIS ROAD, THAT NEVER SEEMS TO END,
WHERE NEW ADVENTURE, LIES JUST AROUND THE BEND
SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.

MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, THE WHOLE WORLD IS MY HOME

SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.

Instrumental Bridge

MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.

THERE'S A WORLD, THAT'S WAITING TO UNFOLD,
A BRAND NEW TALE, NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD,
WE'VE JOURNEY'D FAR BUT, YOU KNOW IT WON'T BE LONG,
WE'RE ALMOST THERE AND WE'VE PAID OUR FARE, WITH THE HOBO SONG.

MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.

SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.

MAYBE TOMORROW I'LL FIND WHAT I CALL HOME,
UNTIL TOMORROW, YOU KNOW I'M FREE TO ROAM.

Oh Yeah, thats the stuff....

A Snails Pace

2007-01-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

I didnt go down to Calgary on the weekend like I planned.

Instead I nursed a cold and moped around the house in SP. I did however play a lot of Guitar Hero and rocked out when I could, so the weekend wasnt an entire loss.

New Years Eve was kind of a bust this year so I never really got around to the whole resolution thing. I've thought about, but really the goals are the same whether it's New Years or not.

As always there is the health issue. I need to get back into shape. (hopefully a good shape) There are many shapes out there, the one I would prefer is about 60 pounds lighter than the shape I currently possess.

Mentally, I would like to procrastinate less. Even though I feel like I have to climb Mt Everest this year (it's really only more like K2) the only way to get there is one step at a time. There's a huge list of items with my name on it and every week I have to accomplish something. Of course thats not including having to deal with all the day to day and new issues that seem to appear out of nowhere.

My wifey sprang a pop quiz on energy on me and it turns out that 56% of my physical energy is being sucked out of me by various mentally stressful aspects of my environment, relationships, etc. That assumes of course that the source of the quiz knew what the hell they were talking about. That more than the New Year has prompted a surge of motivational feelings regarding my life the universe and everthing.

So with my remaining 44% I will slowly regain more of the other 56%.... hopefully.

Some of the areas of energy drain are hard though because they're out of my control. Annoying people that I come into regular contact with for example... sometimes they're just unavoidable. The energy drain comes from having to deal with them, even if dealing with them is making the choice to internalize their idiocy and not let it affect your mental/emotional state. Everything requires energy. Some people give, others take...

The point is: I will be happy with myself this year if I can show a continual progression. As slow as it may be.

My lucky number

2007-01-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

I took a break this Christmas. You cant really take a break from everything, but I took a break from some things.

Breaks:
I really only touched the computer if I had to. Therefore, no blog.
I only went to Calgary (for one day) once to work on the house.
Work of course.

The list of things I didnt get a break from is not important.

The holiday started off well enough, not working is generally a good thing. At least when you know that money is still coming in.

brief recap....
The inlaws came a little early and commandeered our room, but thats OK, cause they're old and not in the best of health. We couldnt really expect them to sleep on the double bed (or the couch). Unfortunately, my mother in law got sick the day they came and continued to be bedridden till the day they left. It really cast a pallor over the whole christmas thing. There was the gift opening and the dinner and it really was pretty good. I certainly have no complaints over either. I got some video games and ate a lot of junk food. The latter prompting the perennial 'I gotta get in shape this year... and I mean it this time!' resolution.

The boxing day sales did not dissapoint. I made the mad trip to the Tommy outlet and stocked up on some clothes.

Probably the coolest thing of the time period was the fact that I have a guy working on my house while im away. The feeling that things are being done in my absence is indescribable. Joy Oh Joy..... excuse me, Im a little verklempt.

Will the house be done in my absence? No, unfortunately, my sherpa is only there for another week and then he's off to his real job in the middle east. It dulls my festering rage though to know that the goal of shrugging this behemoth off my back will be that much closer. Other things may come my way this year (they always do) but this thing has 'stole my jam' for far too long. (enough sayings there?)

I'm actually looking forward to this weekend. I have to travel down to Calgary and see what has been done and settle up.

Now....
It's back to work and new year has dawned and there will be many many things we can gripe about this year. Lets hope we can find the humour in them.

Feeding the addiction

2006-12-20T07:57:00.000-08:00

Im beginning to realize that 'the most wonderful time of the year' is a nothing more than a month long 'sugar rush'. Goodies at work, goodies at home, it's really hard to get away from them. Did I mention that Im also an addict? If there's a nanaimo bar or box of chocolates sitting around I dont have the willpower, I really dont. I can resist for an hour or so, but eventually Im giving in. Resistance is futile..

All the good will , the happiness , the giving .... it can all be explained. I believe it started off innocent enough. In fact when it was a religious holiday it was the most sacred time of the year. Apparently, Christmas was hijacked by the manufacturers of sugar somewhere down the line.
Were people happier then? Without the sugar rush?

The icon of Christmas is a jolly fat dude. Obviously an addict himself, he breaks into millions of houses and eats cookies .... do the math... thats a lot of cookies.... Santa needs an intervention!
Oh sure, he gives gifts but where do the gifts come from? Child labor! You could make an argument that they're elves, but what's more realistic? That Santa has a workforce comprised of magical little people, or that he exploits children? I wouldnt be suprised to learn that he doesnt live in the North Pole but instead resides in Asia where they dont know about him (therefore he doesnt have to give them gifts). So here we have a sugar addict, exploiting children to feed his habit. Shameful... just shameful.

Oh the meanderings of a sugar addled mind like mine. The sad thing is Im probably not the first one to go down this route of thinking. It's easy to see how people could cross the line into conspiracy theories......

Conspiracy 101
Mad Cow disease? Tainted cows periodically planted by the American Beef Industry into Canada whenever their own sales are in the toilet. See? All you really have to do is see who benefits from any given situation and there you have your motive. You can fill in details until you have a story that explains things. Doesnt have to be true, doesnt have to be realistic, just add enough color and detail and voila!

Try it yourself! It's fun... especially when you're high on SUGAR!

The Plot Thickens...

2006-12-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

There's a new evil creeping into our homes... Baby Einstein!

On the surface the videos appear innocent enough, even entertaining. Animals abound, lots of puppets being cute, singing songs.... But I've noticed a disturbing trend in the puppets behavoir... they're all naughty! They steal food and other things when noone is looking, are constantly being devious and tricking the other puppets in various nefarious schemes. What kind of message is Disney trying to send our kids!

I believe that I've noticed a disturbing lack of respect coming from my son since he's been watching these films, in fact it's all he wants to do! He does what he wants, doesnt pay attention to me, and will scream at myself and my wife (who has come to tears over this) if we dont immediately pay attention to his demands! What kind of 1 1/2 year old does that! Not good behaved ones, I'll tell you that! I think , nay I know that the fault lies entirely with the shows that he watches on the television. The biggest culprit of all? ........ Baby Einsein!

I decided to do some research and I have it on good authority that Walt Disney is trying to take over the world. From now on we must be vigilent in screening all products that come from that source. No longer will the Mouse have free reign in MY house!!!!

If you think Im serious, then you are new to my blog.

Baby Einstein is the only reason things can get done around the house. Jacob is a time-dominating little force. Albeit the cutest one you've ever seen. I just think it's pretty funny (yes funny) how sneaky and sly they make the puppets out to be.

Though it does make you think about the sly machinations and true motives.....

dun dun DAAAH!!

Editor thy name is....

2006-12-12T08:04:00.000-08:00

Jacob!!

3 times I tried to post on the weekend and apparently it wasnt up to snuff! My editor would come shuffling over, sit on my lap and promptly hit the power button. Effectively wiping out my inadequate efforts.

It was a decent weekend, made so because I wasnt in Calgary bemoaning my renovating state and perspiring from wake-up to pass-out. Not that it didnt cross my mind... but it's easier to ignore when you're not staring at it.

Instead we started to unpack the boxes, find places for things, that sort of thing. We've only been in the SP residence for 3 months so I guess it's time to start to settle. Plus we got the whole christmas thing coming up.

The House? Well I will be going down this weekend and it looks like we may be hiring a mercenary to kill a few of the demons that have been possessing the place. (read 'Handyman'). Im nervous because we're batting 50-50 with the people we've hired. However the idea of having someone else take on some of the burden for a period of time is just too appealing right now. If he does a half decent job then thats a bonus.

Plus it's the season of spending and this year we're heading into debt full bore with nary a cautious pause!!

The season of Giving

2006-12-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

I started carrying around a voice recorder in order to capture some of the 'great' thoughts that I come up with and then forget. So far I have me swearing about how I hate insurance companies and banks.... probably not the most original thoughts in the world.

I think I am officially burnt out when it comes to The House. I travelled down on the weekend and puttered around with projects but couldnt really get into a groove. It makes me question whether or not the cost of driving down is worth what Im actually doing. Ah well, I have to work this weekend up here, so I wont be going down there. I figure it'll make a nice 'break'.

Last month, I said we wanted The House done by Dec 1 (pretty funny!), we figured it wouldnt be much longer. Now Im just hoping to get it done period. No deadlines, milestones, or what have you. Im just dragging my posterior the last 10 yards and hoping to make it.

On top of it all , it's the holiday season! The most wonderful time of the year!! (pretty positive eh?)

3 weeks before christmas and now I have to start getting serious about shopping (along with everyone else). Everyyear I embody the spirit of the typical male shopper and wait till the last minute to get my list done. I dont mean to, it's just the way it happens. I get bugged about it by my wife... but it's not like there's a time element to thoughtfullness is there? But they know dont they? It's certainly factored in when they know.

I wonder what the chart/system is that determines the true value of the gift.

Perhaps there is a scale (like in gymnastics) where different categories are rated:
Time is one factor (when it was bought)
Cost is another
Functionality
Atractiveness
Brand (aka Quality)
Longevity (how long the perceived 'value' lasts)

There is the base value of points just for getting a gift ...

Time Value - What is the perfect time amount? If they dont know, you get a 5 here. A 10 would be if the gift was bought in November. From there it's arbitrary. Your judge will score how he/she will.

Cost - This depends on who it is (and how much they really want something). There's a fine fine line between 'Oh honey you shouldnt have :)' and 'Oh honey, you reeally shouldnt have :( '

Functionality - in our house, anything that has to do with the house is not really a 'gift' unless the other person has expressly said that it would be. Example: a vacuum is a really functional gift but who wants to open it on christmas morning. Lululemon clothes however....

Attractiveness - again, subject to debate... I personally think a Microsoft Wireless Racing Wheel is a beautiful thing.

Brand - buying the alternative brands like 'Tomy Hilfagers' is not going to get you points. If you dont recognize the brand, it's probably for a reason.

Longevity - the science of 'trends'. Anyone with a 'tickle me elmo' doll? Anyone?

If you're lucky enough to have gotten it right and get some points to spend how you will. Just remember that when it comes right down to it, the points (though real) are only valid during the holidays and then when it's over, it's over so you need to 'spend' them when they're valid.

This is actually a huge topic of study and Im sure there are no 'right' answers. Someone will always have a counterpoint and that someone will usually be the person you thought would love that bowling ball.

My reality? Im pretty sure that no matter what I buy... there's a 75% chance it's going back to the store..... and thats even when I have a cheat sheet!

Must be nice....

2006-11-30T09:28:00.000-08:00

So I give back the truck I've been renting for 3 months today....

My significant other has put her feelings on the matter down quite eloquently here. As for my feelings.. I feel like we're hemorraghing money right now. I want it to stop. Im lost in a maelstrom of spending where I cant tell up from down. This ... right before Christmas... the biggest spending frenzy of them all.

It's a weird feeling since I've dissassociated myself from the meaning of dollar amounts. Our credit line balance is huge.... HUGE! There's no equilibrium here! Used to be that I felt something when I spent $100. Now? Nothing! I know it's a bad thing though....

I still want things... lots of things... but the little white guy on one shoulder tells me to stop (in a wimpy fading voice). The little red pimped out dude with the gold teeth on my other shoulder however.... he's never had it better. Little bastard is dragging me down, but I cant (or dont want to) stop. I want the big screen TV, the second car, the new computer, etc. I dont want to wait, I have the credit, why not? 'Living in the now' is how we get into trouble.... but isnt it a fun way to go? I love stuff!!!!

I wonder how many people feel the same way.

The house has to get finished, I know this. I also know that until it is finished, it would be folly to splurge more (on the Babylonian niceities) without knowing the financial foundation upon which we stand. I can estimate our net worth, the money coming in, even the money going out (to an extent).

When the smoke clears (soon I hope), will we be in a good place?

Without further adooo....

2006-11-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

Took me a bit longer to get my photos for the house up and captioned....

The House In Calgary

Going down....

2006-11-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

I'll be headed back down to Calgary this weekend. Im trying to be positive about it. One day, it'll all be over and then I'll be ecstatic!
There's still a lot to do, but I can see the end. I'll take the camera down this weekend and see if I can't get some good shots to post.

The weather outside is frightful....
It's christmas shopping time and the stores are packed. I havent begun my christmas shopping yet, I have too much on the go. Everyyear I wait till the last minute and everyyear tell myself I wont do it again. I know Im not alone in this, the sheer volume of shoppers (when Im shopping) tells me that. By the time christmas actually rolls around, it's something of an anticlimax. I do look forward to stuffing though....mmmmm.... stuffing..... As a child I didnt like cranberry sauce, now I cant eat turkey dinner without it. Also, growing up we had a tradition in my family of Oyster soup for breakfast. I thought it was normal but havent run across anybody else with quite the same tradition. My wife's family looks forward to butterhorns christmas morning. They're kinda on the opposite side of the spectrum.

Any weird (or not so weird) traditions in your families?

It's a good time of year, if I can get this freakin house done, it'll be a GREAT time! Anyone wanna help? Just thought I'd ask.

Anyways, no real life lessons today (lately I seemed to be on a soapbox) I was too busy working (damn employers want me working not blogging!!) to think about other things.

Hopefully I'll get some good pics this weekend and get em up come Monday.

For those of you in the US of A, have a great Yankee Turkey Day!
.......mmmmm.... stuffing......

The Wrong Lane

2006-11-22T08:34:00.000-08:00

The wrong aisle, the slow checkout line, the 'faster' lane which immediately becomes slower, the 'greater' of two evils (though evil is a strong word.... 'quasi-evil' maybe?)

About a year ago I was faced with a choice between 2 stocks. They have similiar portfolios and actually have interest in a lot of the same properties. So I chose one. At the time it was actually valued more than the other stock.

Why is it that when faced with two choices and you have a 50-50 chance of coming out ahead, the coin seems to always land on the wrong side? It's only apparent in hindsight of course.

My stock is at about half it's value and the other stock? It's up.

Now I know there are probably times when I've come out ahead, but I can only seem to remember the choices where I've chosen wrongly. Now thankfully not too many of my choices have been life or death (that poor cat....) and for the most part I've gotten to where I want to go(for which WalMart thanks me for my patronage). I would have to say Im something of a Seinfeld where I pretty much break even. If I want to destroy my theory I could sit down and count my blessings, but as I said, I may get there eventually, but not in the timely manner that I wanted to. I've had to wait for everything. In a previous post I mentioned my concern with how fast I want to go.

I think the problem is the news. I hear about the boom in this province and can't but think that Im missing out somehow. People/friends/acquaintences/coworkers are leaving the company I work for in droves... DROVES! Where are they going I wonder? More importantly should I be heading there myself? How much money are they making? It's enough to drive one crazy!

I, originally, was talking about Murphy's Law in this post (where everything that can go wrong will go wrong), but it really doesnt does it? I hate the slow lane, but I have a car. I hate the slow checkout lane, but I have money to buy groceries (and other niceities). I hate having to drive down to Calgary to work on the house.... which I own.... Dammit! I've been blessed!

But it sure would be nice to win the lottery and fastpace things a little!

Dr Frankenstein

2006-11-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

There's only one Frankenstein movie that I know of where the good Dr had a son, and that was a comedy. Was the Dr's motivation simply to create life? We all know how the birds and the bees work. Of course, it wouldnt have made such an interesting story if all he did was get laid. Maybe Mary Shelly came up with the story in a dispute with Percy in order to illustrate what man would have to go through in order to create life without women. Apparently our world would pretty much end in disaster. She won the argument so convincingly that he hooked her up with his publishers...

Many of life's problems are needlessly complicated by trying to create elaborate solutions when the simplest answer will do. Life of course wouldnt be half as interesting though if we all 'smartened up'. Or would it? Could it be that we simply find the wrong things interesting?

For example:
The equality movement has lobbied so hard to push women into the work force that I believe their message became not one of choice but of disdain for women who dont excel according to their standards. The image of the homemaker is such that it's hard for women who choose to raise their children to take pride in that fact. I've talked to women who've mentioned that they feel inadequate when faced with conversations with some old classmates who seem to have 'accomplished' way more than they. I admire anyone of any gender who has a master's, is a doctor, etc. I understand the effort involved and in most cases would find myself lacking if I aspired to their position and accomplishments. But how do we measure what is truly an accomplishment?

Having recently become a father myself, I see with new eyes. I suffer from no illusions that what I do in the workforce is more important. Far from it, what I do is purely financial. Do I get satisfaction in it? A little, but my joy is at home with my family. Lasting happiness. I truly did not understand before I experienced it. I also see the trials and hardship that my wife goes through in order to provide for the needs of our child. We tried the dual income, daycare route..... it was a disaster! Jacob wasnt the same, our marriage wasnt the same. The quest for more money was NOT worth it!

Now dont get me wrong, I like my toys, I like a lot of the stuff money can buy. I have a penchant for video games, sports, electronics, movies, good food, a nice house, etc and they all have to be earned. Before my marriage and parenthood, I looked at my status in the form of the things that I acquired. What car I drove, how big my TV was (size does count!), etc. I spent loads and thought I was doing pretty good. What a waste of time..... and effort! All the stuff I acquired became outdated, I had to repurchase, upgrade, replace pretty much everything! Over time all those things didnt mean a hell of a lot.

Now? Im trying to balance the need to provide, with my duty to raise my family, and be a good husband. I look at the little person developing before my eyes and and realize what's important. You dont have to be religious to recognize that. Though it helps me to understand my place in the world.

I cant fully recall how Frankenstein ended (the book that is), I seem to recall the Monster seeking the Dr's death in the arctic or something like that. I guess that he was seeking revenge for abandonment issues or something. If only the good doctor would've played with him more... maybe taught him how to ride a bike ('Go Frankie Jr! Go!') .... it probably wouldnt have ended that way.

Classes

2006-11-20T14:37:00.000-08:00

The caste system is alive and well. I live in a world where education and for the most part knowledge is irrelevant, nothing can beat experience according to this system.

The key to winning any argument is to simply find out something that the other person does not have and then say that because they dont have that, then they dont know what they're talking about.

Example, I have a house, a car, a wife and a kid (amongst other things I do). Therefore, if I run across anyone without one these things then I outrank them and can safely disregard their advice. However, if someone has 2 kids, then they outrank me and I have to listen.This is commonly heard in the following (progressive) conversation examples:
'Single! Ha! you dont know how much free time you have! Just wait till you get married'
'Married? You dont have any kids yet? Ha You dont know how much free time you have! Just wait till you have a kid'
'Only one kid? Ha! You dont know how much free time you have! Just wait till you have 2 kids, or 3 kids, or 4, etc'.

There are special qualifiers such as twins, triplets (who outrank twins, by the way) and such. Twins outrank 2 'regular' kids, though if one of those kids has ADD, ADHD... I must say the negotiations can be tricky to work out who outranks who. This situation can only be decided by a knock down throw down spewing of outragious experiences and stories of hardship and trials experienced by each party. A third party is usually required to make a decision on who has 'suffered' more and is therefore the highest ranking parent. This is due to the fact that each parent in the dispute will be biased to themselves if the experiences are closely ranked in level of grossness, embarrassment, or physical harshness.

This system also extends to other activites as well. House ownership doesnt necessarily go by quantity but by how long one has been 'in the market'. Though this can be 'trumped' by doing some renovations. 'You havent renovated your own kitchen? PFFT! You dont know how easy you've had it!'

The beauty of this system is that the rules change on the fly and is only really limited by the strength of your internal convictions. 'Laws' here are subject to review and can be changed with a strong argument.

Now the more logical among you would say that just because Billy-Steve Williams has 10 kids doesnt make him an expert father. To this I say 'Do you have 10 kids?' No? Well then maybe when you have 10 kids you can say that washing the kids in the yard with a garden hose is not the correct way to bath the kids. I could use other examples, but I dont want to stereotype 10-kid families since I dont have a family that large myself.

It's hard to dispute that simple logic. Unless you've walked a mile in their shoes.....

Do we even bother to try? Maybe all laws should pretty much be thrown out in the face of such arguments since the only people that are truly capable of judging ourselves.... are ourselves.
Among other things, I've got a problem with the local 'maximum speed' laws, I can handle much faster speeds and therefore should be allowed to go much faster. I can safely double the speed of most off-ramp speed signs, and on a straight stretch, well let me tell you.... I CAN FLY!!! On that note I know there are much better drivers than myself, take professionals for instance... Race car drivers should be allowed to go pretty much whichever speed they want. Of course they get into accidents as well..... but it's usually the car's fault not theirs. So I suppose the car itself has to be taken into consideration when judging how fast Im allowed to drive...

I declare myself a country of one, ruled by me!

Of course, it'd be pretty lonely there, so maybe an association with other 'countries' might be a good idea. I guess there'd have to be agreed upon relations (rules if you will) so that we can come to some sort of compromise when dealing with each other. And of course my son really hasnt grown into a capacity where he can rule himself considering he still has to be changed and cant communicate what he wants with anything more than a scream and point in the general direction.

Then there's my wife, if I want to have relations (of any kind) with her I have to abide by the 'written in stone' rules that have been put into place. Now, I cant make everything myself, so I'll work for some other 'country' or countries that have the money I want to buy the things I need.
Geez, it's starting to sound like Im right back where I started! Just another citizen in a country filled where my behavoir is governed by officials who impose penalties based upon my actions and whether or not I've broken some law put into place in reaction to situations that I wasnt involved in and shouldnt be held subject to. Even though it might prevent me from making the same mistakes.....

But still.... if you havent renovated a house or sired a child, then you dont know what you're talking about!! So there!

Building ... Building ...

2006-11-20T10:02:00.000-08:00

Back in Sherwood Park once again. This time the whole family is back up here.... Except The House, it broods... and plots... and is patient. It can wait, it has waited years.... it's moment of triumph will soon come, the day of feasting is at hand when the street will run RED with BLOOD! MU-AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !

I wonder if I can sell the movie rights or write a book about this whole ordeal. 'THE HOUSE!!' 'just when you thought it was safe to go back to Home Depot.....' coming soon to a theatre near you! The Amityville Horror movie doesnt have the same level of dread that I feel when the weekend approaches. I feel the change approaching and my outer exterior begins to morph... my skin changes... my hair stiffens .... I acquire a shuffling gait. I have become the most dreaded of all undead.... The Renovator!

Seriously though.... weekends suck.

One day I'll look back and laugh... I laugh right now, but it's a nervouse maniacal kind of laughter. My brother said I sounded 'on the edge'..... Fair enough.

I have my wife and son up here this week at least and thats a good thing. Playing video games and eating fast food after work just doesnt hold the appeal that it once did. I really enjoy the time I get to spend with them. It is the reason I took this position after all. The 5 minute commutes, no travelling... I think it will all be worth it in the end.

If not, I'll at least have built a lot of character.....

One Step Forward....

2006-11-15T08:42:00.000-08:00

Two Steps Back!

An old joke/proverb/question 'How do you eat an elephant?' answer 'One bite at a time' . I've got a new one 'What do you do when the elephant performs mitosis (go with it), splits into two or three more elephants (of larger size) and then flanks (military expression when your enemy splits up and attacks you from the side) you?' Answer............ RUN LIKE HELL!!! At least that would be the sane answer. My answer is apparently 'take a deep breath, loosen the ole pants, sharpen the knife, and take that next bite'. Assuming of course you like elephant meat...... which I do.

I've recently discovered some truths about myself. I have an addictive personality. No No its true! When reading a good book I can stay up all night (then pay for it in the morning). The same is true for playing a good video game, watching television, or eating great food. I could mention other things, but I think I've made my point. If I like something a lot, I will do it, generally at the expense of other things in my life.

The trick I am trying to achieve is balance. I have many responsibilities right now. Im a husband, father, employee, man, gamer, athelete, friend, and blogger (amongst other roles). I like these roles, though they are hard to balance. Some are fun and some are just necessary. Lately the renovator 'elephant' has stomped on me pretty hard, but it doesnt mean that I can stop my other roles until it's done with me. It's taken a considerable amount of willpower to try and force some balance and get the other roles back into play.

Each job I have has it's own list of tasks to perform and I must say that I've been falling somewhat behind due to the beating I've been taking. I've been making progress though. The hard part is taking that first step. When I stop and look at some of the tasks in their entirety it causes me to gasp and want to turtle (grasp head with hands and curl body into tight ball), but when I can just do that first step, then the next step comes a little easier. It doesnt matter if the steps multiply, change height, disappear.... whatever.

Im just looking for that next step.

Downtime

2006-11-14T14:31:00.000-08:00

Once again I find myself coming off a weekend, this time a 4 day bender. If you think Im talking about drinking you havent read any of my previous posts.

I havent been able to publish for a bit, been too busy. I dont have very much leisure time on the weekends. It's only when I'm at 'work' do I have any computer time to spare.

My wife is still in Cowtown while Im back up in the frigid north. When I was driving last night I found myself 20km south of Leduc and suddenly the landscape turned to winter. Icy cold, snow drift covered roads, people in the ditch ..... the works! Why am I here again? Some might say 'To prepare to meet God' .... I figure if I stay up here, it'll probably be sooner than later.

The house is looking better, some say it's beautiful. I however see it for the harsh mistress that she is.... eating up all my money and time, always demanding more more MORE! We made a list of work still to do... it was 4 pages long! I feel pretty good about the things we've done though, and the simple fact that we are able to do them. I cant imagine how much it wouldve cost if we had to try and go through the contractors. SCARY. Anyways, enough about the house.

I think Im gonna start carrying a personal voice recorder. I find myself having thoughts throughout the day that I think are great but can never remember them later. Im sure I'll listen to them later and probably think 'what the hell was I thinking?' but at least it'll make for great comedy.

Speaking of comedy, 'The Office', in my mind, has become the funniest show EVER on TV. I know that's quite a statement, but even when I watch it by myself, I laugh out loud..... hard.... everytime. I think last night I may have even peed myself (just a little bit). I wont turn this into a TV show debate blog, but suffice it to say, if you work in an office (or historically did), or maybe you're just a little bit whacked like me, then The Office will hit the spot.

Well, enough daydreaming, I'd better get back to 'work'.

The Price of Admission

2006-11-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

I love television. I shouldnt, but I do. There's a lot of reasons why television is bad. It wastes time, you get lethargic and fat sitting on the couch, I could go on.

The current reasons for me watching are: Psych, CSI, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Smallville, Corner Gas, The Unit, Heroes, The Office, My Name is Earl, pretty much any game show, Stargate SG1, Stargate Atlantis, House and even though I dont like to admit it, Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. There's other reasons too, but those cover most of it. I need my two PVR's just to catch it all each week. If you dont have a PVR (Personal Video Recorder) then you arent experiencing efficient TV watching. Being able to pause, rewind, instant replay and record easily is essential.

With my renovations, I have to leave my PVR's for the weekend (starting Thursday the busiest TV night of the week), but come Monday, I get to check out the list and catch up on what I missed (sans commercials). It's great!! Especially after a 10 plus hour workday.

Im sure not everyone shares my joy of TV, but oh well, to each his own. The next evolution Im considering is HDTV.... a big one. I have Bell Express Vu Satellite and it's pretty good. To take the next step Im thinking will cost about $2k for the TV and maybe another grand for a basic surround sound system. Then there will be another $20 month added to my bill , plus the cost of the HD receivers to get the signal. It's quite a financial commitment! On the plus side, I get much joy from TV (and movies) and it's pretty much my major activity in the wintertime.

It's definately a luxury thing.... and my wife is actually on my side on this one. The only hurdle is the renovations......

TGIM

2006-11-06T08:20:00.000-08:00

I think it's amazing about the amount of stuff that goes into a house. At first glance, you look at a house and when it's empty of furniture, it looks pretty bare. Not so!! Every weekend I buy more and more stuff to put into my house. Im not talking about furniture, kitchen goods or what have you. I speak of the things of which a house are composed. Tile, paint, glue, nails, screws, caulk, carpet, vanities, corpeus amounts of wood, lights, fixtures, faucets, yada yada yada. The trips seem endless. I waste more time going back to the store (getting that missing part) than I do actually working on the house!

Did I mention the mudding? That magical stuff that fixs and hides and generally makes walls walls and a room look right. I think I've gotten pretty good at it. If you look pretty close you can tell where it is, but overall, things are looking up. Not that I dont have a whole crapload of things still to do (the bathrooms are taking forever!) but I think I've reached a point where things will start to go together from here. I wish I was in Calgary though during the week so I could work at night. This whole long distance relationship with my house is hard! Of course the relationship is doomed anyways as she has cost me so much Im going to have to sell her. ....

That brings up an interesting topic of conversation ? Wouldnt breakups be much easier to take if you could trade/sell your ex to the next person? Kinda like pro athletes. "Things arent working out honey... but I talked to Neil and he's got a 2 year relationship deal that isnt working out either. We've come to terms and I think you'll be very happy over there." If you could recover some of the financial implications of a relationship, you wouldnt feel so stupid afterwards. Hmmm.. that sounds suspiciously like divorce proceedings. Oh I know there's a lot of kinks that would have to be worked out in that system like trade deadlines and such, but Im sure if we put our greatest minds to the task they could work out a collective bargaining agreement....

PS. In the off-chance that my wife is reading this, I am in no way implying anything by the last paragraph. Chalk this up to Section 4 Paragraph 3 in the "Stupid Things that Guys Think Of" Book.

Another Bout

2006-11-02T11:56:00.000-08:00

Im heading back into the fray today. Im probably talking a little too much about renos but it pretty much dominates my life right now.

I find myself in automatic mode like Adam Sandler in click. I've been married over 4 years now and I still feel like I'm just trying to reach a goal thats beyond my reach and when I get there I'll be able to enjoy my time. At this exact moment, Im trying to get my house finished, then sold, then probably get another house up here in Sherwood Park in order to stay in the market. Im sure I'll have to renovate the new house, but hopefully it wont be as extensive or expensive as the one we're doing now, and the previous residents will have kept better care of it.

No matter what, I always know in the back of my mind that I've been blessed. I only have to look in the news to see that. The life I lead in Canada is pretty damn sheltered. There's a shifty undercurrent and if you're looking for evil, you can find it (sometimes it even finds you). On the whole though, I've done some traveling, seen how some of the rest of the world lives (pakistan, brazil, UK, US) and suddenly my own backyard seems pretty damn amazing... and sheltered. My concerns are mainly financial, my stesses are manageable, and now I have this cool blog to vent in.

So, the obvious stated, I'd like to cream whoever felt the need for excessive paperwork that proves every step of everything. Cover Your Ass is the battlecry of todays businesses. It's no wonder considering the litigious nature of our society. With lawyers and devils planting the ideas that suing is the answer to every injustice, everyone has to armor their backsides or get a better lawyer and prepare to fight. There are physical wars (eg.IRAQ) and there are wars that we fight everyday just to get by. We fight banks, insurance companies, our employers, and especially the government just to get a fair share. Most conflicts that we face everyday are unnecessary. Taking a defective product back to the store, asking a contractor to fix their mistake.... just a couple examples of how if you dont say anything you'll get screwed because it seems like a surprising number of people want to stick it to you just because. It wouldnt cost people much to treat everybody like they themselves would like to be treated (aka 'the golden rule') however the first reaction is to try and get away with something, get there first, take the last cookie, cut in line, hide the mistake/cover it up, pass the buck, blame someone else, run away.... then finger the person that they just wronged because they said something.

I was in a restaurant the other day and overheard the people at the next table talking about how a store made a mistake and gave them a free order of hardwood flooring. They didnt need the extra flooring but took it anyways. They didnt even know what they were going to do with it. Only that they got away with it for 'free'. They laughed about it. Kinda made me sick. It never occured to them to say they already got their order and the store just forgot about it.

Someone has to pay for it. Either the prices go up, someone gets fired, the store absorbs the loss .. whatever, someone will have to pay... it just wasnt them so why should they care.

I still care.

Im not saying I dont have my own issues and imperfections but I want to live in a place where people care about each other. They dont have to be sappy about it. I'd probably feel pretty damn uncomfortable with everyone telling me they loved me. Im just talking about respect. Respecting someone else and having them respect you. Is it too much to ask?

No answers here today, just a few questions. .................................................................................................................................................................. and hopefully a few jokes along the way. ;)

Mumblings

2006-11-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

As I watched the little kiddies come and go last night, I couldnt help but think about how kids live for the free candy however as an adult, I can go and buy as much as I want. As great as that sounds if you said it to a child, it's kind of dissapointing as an adult.

It's the understanding of the consequences that is the problem.... sometimes I may not mind the consequences, but I understand them. Too much sugar and fat is unhealthy and the cost can be great. Kids think they are invulnerable. Having no real grasp of what is or isnt healthy, a kid will pretty much go for what he likes pure and simple.

I wonder what my body,teeth and overall health would be like if I'd shown a little more restraint earlier in my youth.

On another note, I dont have the desire for extreme sports anymore, I dont want to jeopardize myself. In addition, I fear for my son and wont want him to do these things either. I vaguely recall my parents telling me what to do but didnt pay it much mind at the time.

Ignorance is truly bliss.

I wonder if Im worrying too much and should just enjoy life. I can help feeling like the more that I know, the worse off I feel. On the other hand, I've learned a lot of great things. I have to take the good with the bad.

Nothing really got in my craw today, so these random thoughts will have to do. If anyone is reading let me know your thoughts.

Happy Halloween!!

2006-10-31T07:47:00.000-08:00

I never understood as a kid why they didnt make this a statutory holiday....

I have to run out at lunch and get some last minute candy because I've been lax. I expect that the shelves will be pretty bare. Ah well, hopefully my house wont get egged.

If there truly is karmic retribution I suppose that Im owed at least 10 years of egging in return for fun childhood memories. Not that I want it, but to everything there is a price...... everything. If you think you're getting away with something, just wait and the true cost will appear. If it doesnt..... then you're just not looking for it hard enough. I would say though that I'll happily bear the cost of some things.

The cost of being a parent is many many many many many many things. I wont go into them all suffice it to say that I am happy to pay them... maybe not at the time the costs occur, but in retrospect I wouldnt trade it for the world. And the benefits.... oh the benefits.... These holidays become fun again! I cant begin to express the joy I get from making my son happy. I love my wife, but I have never felt so attached to another human being as my child. I truly hurt when he hurts, I am sad when he is sad, but thankfully when he is happy my world lightens up and the travails of the world and this existance are put into a new light.

I spoil him I know, but how can I not? When I spoil him Im only spoiling myself. Someday I'll have to discipline him for his own good, but I finally know for real the saying that I heard my parents tell me as I was about to get spanked 'this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you'. I surely didnt believe them at the time, but I do now.

Anyways, I wanted this to be a happy post, its a happy day! Despite the friggin snow and ice that permeates the ground here in Edmonton.

Have a good one!! (even if you have to pay for it later) ;)

Recovery time

2006-10-30T13:25:00.000-08:00

When people ask me how I am today, my answer has been 'trying to recover from the weekend'. In hearing that , the automatic thought is 'that mustve been a good weekend!'.

I'd like to say it was, however it really wasn't. The recovery I speak of is trying to regain the physical energy that I expended on the weekend working on the 'edifice of doom'. I speak of my house, that all encompassing money pit that plots against me and is working daily to suck my soul from my body for whatever nefarious purpose is lodged within it's devious psyche.

I will never finish........It wont let me.

The highlight of my weekend was working on the ceiling of the bathroom. If you haven't spent a weekend scraping stipple, mudding, sanding and mudding again in order to achieve flatvana (the euphoric mental state of enlightenment achieved when all around you is flat) I highly recommend it to all. I managed to achieve a minor degree of this happy state with my mudding, but only after punishing my body by holding my arms above my head and trying to ignore the burning feeling in my shoulders as I worked first the scraper, then the taping knife, then the sandpaper block, then the taping knife once again.

Now I'm crashing........

I'm back at work trying to plan for the week, only to realize that if I do this planning and get on with my week, it will only bring me back to the weekend which I realized just now with great sadness, I am coming to hate. I don't want the weekend. I relish Mondays. The days in between the renovation marathons that have become the norm. Give me the 10 hour workdays, the paper pushing, the mental problems and issues that arise from running a major pipeline. I'll happily work my fingers over the keys as I sit in my reclining office chair and sup on the fare of pipeline operators everywhere, namely donuts, caffeinated beverages and highly refined sugary products of various and delicious nature. Damn the weekend!!

I feel better now.

Situational Delirium

2006-10-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have to drive back to Calgary today to work on my house. I feel like Im in Purgatory. Not that Sherwood Park is heaven or hell, but my state of mind is such that I am in-between and the idea of Purgatory seems to fit. Im neither happy or sad and my condition is such that Im on autopilot and the days are slipping away and I try to reach that day where everything is ok (ha ha) and 'things will get back to normal'. But it never comes... chocolates just keep coming down the conveyor belt waiting to be boxed..

Take last weekend for example: I travelled to Cowtown planning to mud, prime, install bathroom vanities and wound up spending the weekend ripping out a bathtub and learning how to install a new one.

By no means am I implying that my condition is worse off than say 'Stinky Pete' who has to decide whether or not to replace the discarded pizza boxes and move up to the kenmore elite packaging this winter for that extra R rating (insulation joke), but still, I do believe that his net worth at this moment is probably simliar to mine and he gets the weekend off (and every other day come to think of it). On top of that he has the nerve to ask for MY spare change!

Now reading this blog for the first time you might think me cold for stereotyping Pete as the stinky homeless guy, or maybe you might be thinking Im insensitive for daring to joke about the 'habitatually impaired' in the first place, but it's my blog and the chances are that Pete wont be reading this in the first place (or anybody else cause it's so new). Plus, Pete is fictional and is by no means the nickname of one of my old high school teachers.

It could be that I feed off the misery of others, or maybe I take consolation in the fact that Im not the one out there day after day regretting the path and decisions that led me down the road that Im on. Oops did I say that? There but for the grace of God go I....

At the moment I feel more like a zombie........ who is renovating a house.......... in Calgary.

Symptoms

2006-10-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

The beauty of anonymity is that noone knows who you are... the tradgedy of anonymity is that noone knows who you are. Unless I advertise in other blogs, this one will go unnoticed... but do I want that? I still havent figured out if Im just writing this for personal reasons or if I have a deep seated need to connect.

Im doing renovations... everyone around me is doing renovations.... I wish I could stop but the horror is I cant. I truly understand the term money pit. But it's 'OK' because the money is going into my house. Im tired all the time, I complain online.... If I were spending the kind of money Im spending (which I dont really have) any other way then people would think I was going down a slippery financial slope. But what Im doing is 'investing'. Time, money, effort... at the end of it my only hope is that it will all be worth it.

I cant help but feeling like the whole market is going to collapse and then what?

Self affliction

2006-10-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

Why is it that every night I stay up too late and every morning tell myself that I wont do that again, only to repeat the process the next night?

I do realize that Im surrounded by people who do the same thing, but it would be nice to believe that Im different somehow.... that Im special. Instead, Im par for the course, a miniscule part of a self-flaggelating society that is the source of it's own woes.

Im pretty tired though, thats all Im trying to say.

A touch of sanity

2006-10-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

I realize it's somewhat pretentious of myself to name myself the Voice of Reason. If there were a sarcastic tone or tune that I could append to the end of it I would.

I suppose that you could simply say that it goes along the grain of large people being called tiny. 'Nuff said.

With the hundreds of thousands of blogs out there, I get the feeling that one would generally get being at the bottom of a pyramid scheme. Did I get in the game too late to share in the profits?

The currency of the blogger seems to be in the quantity and quality of the people who comment. The amount of quality comments is to me the profit gained by the amount of effort put into the posts.

Will I have to market my product? Bring in the profits by getting myself out there? Perhaps this venture will die with hardly a noise heard in the tumult.

I believe that there is intelligent life out there. All things being equal there is a small chance that like minds will read and comment. Even if in the context of specific topics I gain 'single serving friends'.

Date of Infection

2006-10-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

Ive been reading a lot of blogs lately and there's a lot of confused people out there.

It's mostly been due to boredom. I find my work somewhat unsatifying at times and look to fill up my day.

Why scurvy? It seemed appropriate due to the lack of substance that I've seen out there. It could be my own lack or that of others, I leave that to you to decide.

The very fact that Im writing is a start and only time will tell if it's a contribution to the good or bad heaps of intellectual property that is out there.