Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween!!

I never understood as a kid why they didnt make this a statutory holiday....

I have to run out at lunch and get some last minute candy because I've been lax. I expect that the shelves will be pretty bare. Ah well, hopefully my house wont get egged.

If there truly is karmic retribution I suppose that Im owed at least 10 years of egging in return for fun childhood memories. Not that I want it, but to everything there is a price...... everything. If you think you're getting away with something, just wait and the true cost will appear. If it doesnt..... then you're just not looking for it hard enough. I would say though that I'll happily bear the cost of some things.

The cost of being a parent is many many many many many many things. I wont go into them all suffice it to say that I am happy to pay them... maybe not at the time the costs occur, but in retrospect I wouldnt trade it for the world. And the benefits.... oh the benefits.... These holidays become fun again! I cant begin to express the joy I get from making my son happy. I love my wife, but I have never felt so attached to another human being as my child. I truly hurt when he hurts, I am sad when he is sad, but thankfully when he is happy my world lightens up and the travails of the world and this existance are put into a new light.

I spoil him I know, but how can I not? When I spoil him Im only spoiling myself. Someday I'll have to discipline him for his own good, but I finally know for real the saying that I heard my parents tell me as I was about to get spanked 'this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you'. I surely didnt believe them at the time, but I do now.

Anyways, I wanted this to be a happy post, its a happy day! Despite the friggin snow and ice that permeates the ground here in Edmonton.

Have a good one!! (even if you have to pay for it later) ;)

Monday, October 30, 2006

Recovery time

When people ask me how I am today, my answer has been 'trying to recover from the weekend'. In hearing that , the automatic thought is 'that mustve been a good weekend!'.

I'd like to say it was, however it really wasn't. The recovery I speak of is trying to regain the physical energy that I expended on the weekend working on the 'edifice of doom'. I speak of my house, that all encompassing money pit that plots against me and is working daily to suck my soul from my body for whatever nefarious purpose is lodged within it's devious psyche.

I will never finish........It wont let me.

The highlight of my weekend was working on the ceiling of the bathroom. If you haven't spent a weekend scraping stipple, mudding, sanding and mudding again in order to achieve flatvana (the euphoric mental state of enlightenment achieved when all around you is flat) I highly recommend it to all. I managed to achieve a minor degree of this happy state with my mudding, but only after punishing my body by holding my arms above my head and trying to ignore the burning feeling in my shoulders as I worked first the scraper, then the taping knife, then the sandpaper block, then the taping knife once again.

Now I'm crashing........

I'm back at work trying to plan for the week, only to realize that if I do this planning and get on with my week, it will only bring me back to the weekend which I realized just now with great sadness, I am coming to hate. I don't want the weekend. I relish Mondays. The days in between the renovation marathons that have become the norm. Give me the 10 hour workdays, the paper pushing, the mental problems and issues that arise from running a major pipeline. I'll happily work my fingers over the keys as I sit in my reclining office chair and sup on the fare of pipeline operators everywhere, namely donuts, caffeinated beverages and highly refined sugary products of various and delicious nature. Damn the weekend!!

I feel better now.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Situational Delirium

I have to drive back to Calgary today to work on my house. I feel like Im in Purgatory. Not that Sherwood Park is heaven or hell, but my state of mind is such that I am in-between and the idea of Purgatory seems to fit. Im neither happy or sad and my condition is such that Im on autopilot and the days are slipping away and I try to reach that day where everything is ok (ha ha) and 'things will get back to normal'. But it never comes... chocolates just keep coming down the conveyor belt waiting to be boxed..

Take last weekend for example: I travelled to Cowtown planning to mud, prime, install bathroom vanities and wound up spending the weekend ripping out a bathtub and learning how to install a new one.

By no means am I implying that my condition is worse off than say 'Stinky Pete' who has to decide whether or not to replace the discarded pizza boxes and move up to the kenmore elite packaging this winter for that extra R rating (insulation joke), but still, I do believe that his net worth at this moment is probably simliar to mine and he gets the weekend off (and every other day come to think of it). On top of that he has the nerve to ask for MY spare change!

Now reading this blog for the first time you might think me cold for stereotyping Pete as the stinky homeless guy, or maybe you might be thinking Im insensitive for daring to joke about the 'habitatually impaired' in the first place, but it's my blog and the chances are that Pete wont be reading this in the first place (or anybody else cause it's so new). Plus, Pete is fictional and is by no means the nickname of one of my old high school teachers.

It could be that I feed off the misery of others, or maybe I take consolation in the fact that Im not the one out there day after day regretting the path and decisions that led me down the road that Im on. Oops did I say that? There but for the grace of God go I....

At the moment I feel more like a zombie........ who is renovating a house.......... in Calgary.


The beauty of anonymity is that noone knows who you are... the tradgedy of anonymity is that noone knows who you are. Unless I advertise in other blogs, this one will go unnoticed... but do I want that? I still havent figured out if Im just writing this for personal reasons or if I have a deep seated need to connect.

Im doing renovations... everyone around me is doing renovations.... I wish I could stop but the horror is I cant. I truly understand the term money pit. But it's 'OK' because the money is going into my house. Im tired all the time, I complain online.... If I were spending the kind of money Im spending (which I dont really have) any other way then people would think I was going down a slippery financial slope. But what Im doing is 'investing'. Time, money, effort... at the end of it my only hope is that it will all be worth it.

I cant help but feeling like the whole market is going to collapse and then what?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Self affliction

Why is it that every night I stay up too late and every morning tell myself that I wont do that again, only to repeat the process the next night?

I do realize that Im surrounded by people who do the same thing, but it would be nice to believe that Im different somehow.... that Im special. Instead, Im par for the course, a miniscule part of a self-flaggelating society that is the source of it's own woes.

Im pretty tired though, thats all Im trying to say.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A touch of sanity

I realize it's somewhat pretentious of myself to name myself the Voice of Reason. If there were a sarcastic tone or tune that I could append to the end of it I would.

I suppose that you could simply say that it goes along the grain of large people being called tiny. 'Nuff said.

With the hundreds of thousands of blogs out there, I get the feeling that one would generally get being at the bottom of a pyramid scheme. Did I get in the game too late to share in the profits?

The currency of the blogger seems to be in the quantity and quality of the people who comment. The amount of quality comments is to me the profit gained by the amount of effort put into the posts.

Will I have to market my product? Bring in the profits by getting myself out there? Perhaps this venture will die with hardly a noise heard in the tumult.

I believe that there is intelligent life out there. All things being equal there is a small chance that like minds will read and comment. Even if in the context of specific topics I gain 'single serving friends'.

Date of Infection

Ive been reading a lot of blogs lately and there's a lot of confused people out there.

It's mostly been due to boredom. I find my work somewhat unsatifying at times and look to fill up my day.

Why scurvy? It seemed appropriate due to the lack of substance that I've seen out there. It could be my own lack or that of others, I leave that to you to decide.

The very fact that Im writing is a start and only time will tell if it's a contribution to the good or bad heaps of intellectual property that is out there.