For computers that is.
I work with computers, I sit at one all day.
There is a massive shift happening in our world and it has to do with computers. All forms of media are jockeying for position in this new paradigm. The dot com boom of a few years ago was like an attack that got swatted down. People could see the future but just couldnt quite grasp ahold of it and shake off the chains of tradition.
Uberconnectivity.
The way we shop, the way we talk, the way we are entertained, the way we meet and connect to others, it's all changed.
Once mighty record companies are clinging madly to their 'traditional rights' and vestiges of power. Sowing fear uncertainty and doubt is the order of the day. They still have money and power but it is dwindling rapidly and if they continue to resist, they will be swept away to join bygone historical institutions. They used to control the only connections to the market, making and breaking artists at their whim. Those with the foresight to change and adapt will survive... those who dont.... well.
Television networks will be next. On demand delivery over the internet is growing, once a novely it is gaining speed. More and more companies startup and jockey for position to try and gain an advantage over their rivals.
These are just examples of traditional forms of media that we think will always be there. Shopping, dating, working, communicating.. all these things can be done in non-traditional ways.
I'm shifting my thinking in order to even slightly grasp it. Software products and services offered for free? How? Why? I've always had to pay for things... I go to work, earn a paycheck and go to a store and buy things.
Now the payment is coming indirectly. Google Ads are everywhere! The money is domestic and international and it's BIG! A highly valued company one day, an obsolete technology literally the next.... and it's happening faster and faster because one technological breakthrough breeds multiple others and each one has it's own offspring and so on.
It's a wild ride and quite something to see. Will it stop? And what will happen to the world when/if it does?
I believe there are services that will always be needed. Though if I am to survive, I have to accept that my world, no matter how solid it seems can be changed in an instant... begging the question: is it all real?
Maybe it's the race itself that is virtual.
I definately feel a tangible 'disconnect' from the rush when I can just go home and enjoy time with my family... I can feel joy and peace there and for a while I am grounded... until I have to leave.
I would have to say family is real... and though the world will try and change the meaing of 'family' (or destroy it all together) ... there is only one true definition in my mind.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Everybody talks about Britney Spears too much.
Who really gives a crap about what some over-rich immature celebrity is doing right this second? ........... A lot of people apparently.
I just feel like talking about something close to my inner geek.
The amount of 'free' software that is being released so far makes me wonder. What's really 'free' ? I like free stuff, but in my experience there is always a cost. Whether the gain is monetary or serving a specific purpose. Nobody does anything for 'free'. Everyone needs money to live.
There might be one or two people 'living' off the land, sequestering themselves away from society. However even these people need money because governments will eventually find them and take away whatever they can if they dont have money to pay taxes (one of only two sure things in life).
So what free applications do I like?
A few pieces of software that I enjoy.
Fotoflexer
I just discovered this one...For an online photo editor it's pretty amazing. Too many features to list, but just the ability to 'remove' someone from a photo easily is worth checking out. Also, the fact that every feature seems to have a demo video so anyone can do amazing things almost immediately.
OpenOffice
Im not sure why OpenOffice is free, but it's pretty good. Considered by many as THE alternative to MS Office, if you dont want to shell out hundreds of dollars and dont need the fanciest office bells and whistles... it is pretty impressive. I use it at home and havent got/heard any complaints.
Google Applications
Specifically Reader, GMail, Picasa... Blogger. If you dont mind the ads, the amount of applications that keep piling up under the Google umbrella is pretty astounding. All you have to do is click on the 'More' link on the google homepage to see em all. Sometimes they're in the Labs section if they're not quite ready for an official release.
I use Google Reader everyday... any of my favorite websites that have an RSS feed gets a subscription and it saves an amazing amount of 'surfing' time. It just brings everything to you in one place and you can get a summary of what's new without having to visit all your favorite destinations. When you first install it as part of your 'google' account, you can select 'packages' of subscriptions in categories you might be interested in. I was introduced to quite a lot of pretty cool content that way.
Anyways, Im not a tech blogger (or much of a blogger at all lately) and there are a lot of other cool 'free' applications out there... In my experience, NOTHING that is good will stay free so take advantage of this stuff while you can.
I just feel like talking about something close to my inner geek.
The amount of 'free' software that is being released so far makes me wonder. What's really 'free' ? I like free stuff, but in my experience there is always a cost. Whether the gain is monetary or serving a specific purpose. Nobody does anything for 'free'. Everyone needs money to live.
There might be one or two people 'living' off the land, sequestering themselves away from society. However even these people need money because governments will eventually find them and take away whatever they can if they dont have money to pay taxes (one of only two sure things in life).
So what free applications do I like?
A few pieces of software that I enjoy.
Fotoflexer
I just discovered this one...For an online photo editor it's pretty amazing. Too many features to list, but just the ability to 'remove' someone from a photo easily is worth checking out. Also, the fact that every feature seems to have a demo video so anyone can do amazing things almost immediately.
OpenOffice
Im not sure why OpenOffice is free, but it's pretty good. Considered by many as THE alternative to MS Office, if you dont want to shell out hundreds of dollars and dont need the fanciest office bells and whistles... it is pretty impressive. I use it at home and havent got/heard any complaints.
Google Applications
Specifically Reader, GMail, Picasa... Blogger. If you dont mind the ads, the amount of applications that keep piling up under the Google umbrella is pretty astounding. All you have to do is click on the 'More' link on the google homepage to see em all. Sometimes they're in the Labs section if they're not quite ready for an official release.
I use Google Reader everyday... any of my favorite websites that have an RSS feed gets a subscription and it saves an amazing amount of 'surfing' time. It just brings everything to you in one place and you can get a summary of what's new without having to visit all your favorite destinations. When you first install it as part of your 'google' account, you can select 'packages' of subscriptions in categories you might be interested in. I was introduced to quite a lot of pretty cool content that way.
Anyways, Im not a tech blogger (or much of a blogger at all lately) and there are a lot of other cool 'free' applications out there... In my experience, NOTHING that is good will stay free so take advantage of this stuff while you can.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I Love to Read
It's definately about the escape for me... not exclusively of course. I don't get lost in the story of 'Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too' when Im reading to my son... though there was that one time Tigger got stuck in tree... priceless... There's just something about spending some time with a book that holds such a great appeal to me. It helped me through my teenage years (and beyond), taking me on adventures, teaching me about the world, introducing me to new ideas, comforting me in hard times and introducing me to friends that I'll remember fondly (even if they are only figments of my imagination). To this day, even though I have video games, movies and toys galore, I feel incomplete when I go through literary droughts where I don't have a good book to read.
From a very young age I had a love of reading. The adventures are what really caught me up. Particularily JRR Tolkein, CS Lewis and pretty much any author that could spin a tale about exciting journeys in fantastic lands or future times. Good books would keep me up all night reading and frequently caused me to miss my first couple classes in the morning in high school because I had been lost in another world.
A few years ago I stumbled upon a series that really blew me away. The depth and scope of the world this author created captivated me like no other story before it or since. The characters were believable (notwithstanding the typical suspension of disbelief required to enjoy a fantasy world in the first place), the action exciting, the writing colorful and engaging. To me it is perfection in print and a standard to be held against all other writers and sagas in any genre that cross my literary path.
The Wheel of Time has been going on since the early 90's and the main series is 11 (very large) books with a few spinoff stories. It's been going on for so long that I never really felt it was going to end..... Until now.
I never personally knew the author, in fact I only found out upon his demise that his real name is James Rigney. Last year I was wondering what was taking the 'final' 12th book so long and in my searching found myself at his official blog where I found out that he was afflicted with a serious blood disease and was literally fighting for his life. He sounded positive in his last few posts which gave me reason to hope he would be all right and perhaps one day the series would be finished. This week however upon perusing my daily news one story stopped me short and gave me great pause.
Robert Jordan is dead.
All I can really grieve for is the story and how he will never finish it and I wonder if that's selfish on my part. I think though that a writer connects with his readers through his works and on a certain level the reader gets to know the author... a certain level being the key.
In general, people only get to know the personalities that we allow them to see. Personally I have had the experience where people have said to me that I am nothing like my first impression and it's only upon spending time with me that they understand who I am. The Robert Jordan personality that I know may not be the James Rigney that his family knew, but I connected with Robert Jordan, I laughed and cried as he told me stories and kept me company at times in my life when I felt I had no one else....
I mourn for the loss of that friend.
From a very young age I had a love of reading. The adventures are what really caught me up. Particularily JRR Tolkein, CS Lewis and pretty much any author that could spin a tale about exciting journeys in fantastic lands or future times. Good books would keep me up all night reading and frequently caused me to miss my first couple classes in the morning in high school because I had been lost in another world.
A few years ago I stumbled upon a series that really blew me away. The depth and scope of the world this author created captivated me like no other story before it or since. The characters were believable (notwithstanding the typical suspension of disbelief required to enjoy a fantasy world in the first place), the action exciting, the writing colorful and engaging. To me it is perfection in print and a standard to be held against all other writers and sagas in any genre that cross my literary path.
The Wheel of Time has been going on since the early 90's and the main series is 11 (very large) books with a few spinoff stories. It's been going on for so long that I never really felt it was going to end..... Until now.
I never personally knew the author, in fact I only found out upon his demise that his real name is James Rigney. Last year I was wondering what was taking the 'final' 12th book so long and in my searching found myself at his official blog where I found out that he was afflicted with a serious blood disease and was literally fighting for his life. He sounded positive in his last few posts which gave me reason to hope he would be all right and perhaps one day the series would be finished. This week however upon perusing my daily news one story stopped me short and gave me great pause.
Robert Jordan is dead.
All I can really grieve for is the story and how he will never finish it and I wonder if that's selfish on my part. I think though that a writer connects with his readers through his works and on a certain level the reader gets to know the author... a certain level being the key.
In general, people only get to know the personalities that we allow them to see. Personally I have had the experience where people have said to me that I am nothing like my first impression and it's only upon spending time with me that they understand who I am. The Robert Jordan personality that I know may not be the James Rigney that his family knew, but I connected with Robert Jordan, I laughed and cried as he told me stories and kept me company at times in my life when I felt I had no one else....
I mourn for the loss of that friend.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
My Inner Child Has Special Needs
Some people say that I havent fully grown up yet , so whether or not the inner child in me is taking over might be a moot point.
Lately there's been a lot of 'elements' affecting the peaceful maelstrom that is usually the norm. Im trying to get a garage in place before the winter hits, Im waiting for a car to be delivered from the states (which is a topic in and of itself), Im trying to get a workout schedule going, eating right, my wifey is preggo (which has all kinds of radiant energy).... not to mention just plain life... work, sleep, fatherhood, church calling..... each day seems to ascend to a 'whole nuvva levaa'.
Im back in the world of contractors with this whole garage thing. I understand the job juggling thing and why they do it. Trying to be multitaskers and all that. However, why do I generally run into those who do it badly? Probably because most contractors are guys and guys generally dont juggle things very well.... unless you're one of those cirque du soleil guys and Im pretty sure they're gay.
I got pretty worked up yesterday about the guy who was pouring the concrete pad (at $10 a square foot). He had mismanaged his time, only coming to work on my yard about an hour a day and therefore wasnt ready when the concrete truck came to deliver the concrete. I was at work and unable to watch what was going on, but from my wife's description they were scrambling.... which never bodes well for quality.... EVER! I went home at lunch and saw that he'd ripped the stairs off my deck for starters also I didnt see gravel under the concrete pad. After work when I posed the gravel question (Did you put a layer of gravel there?) He said he had put gravel under there.... but Im pretty sure he's F***ING LYING! No way to prove it though, unless I want to rip up the pad to prove a point. His excuse for rippin up the stairs? 'I wanted to save you money because it costs extra to get the cement poured and I couldnt get past the pad to pick up the piles of dirt and stuff'. Really? Oh thats ok then.......... NOT!! If he hadnt squandered the days before, there would've been plenty of time to get things prepared properly! Not to mention, I'm paying $10 a square foot for CONCRETE! I hate contractors... they're criminals these days and they all have the attitude: 'you should feel privelaged to be 'fiscally raped' by a guy like me because (obviously) if you called me to do the work it means you're incompetent and cant handle real work'. It couldnt possibly be just because Im working full time in an atmosphere where education is a prerequisite and I just dont have the time and tools to do it myself! I was under the impression that $10 a square foot meant just that! It includes the concrete no matter if it's poured from a truck or dumped by the President of the United States helicopter! (silly I know, I'm sure it's not equipped for that.... though when you think about it, at a cost of $50000 per hour to fly you think it would be able to do pretty much anything).
Well... I feel a little better now.....
Apparently my inner child needed to throw a tantrum.
Lately there's been a lot of 'elements' affecting the peaceful maelstrom that is usually the norm. Im trying to get a garage in place before the winter hits, Im waiting for a car to be delivered from the states (which is a topic in and of itself), Im trying to get a workout schedule going, eating right, my wifey is preggo (which has all kinds of radiant energy).... not to mention just plain life... work, sleep, fatherhood, church calling..... each day seems to ascend to a 'whole nuvva levaa'.
Im back in the world of contractors with this whole garage thing. I understand the job juggling thing and why they do it. Trying to be multitaskers and all that. However, why do I generally run into those who do it badly? Probably because most contractors are guys and guys generally dont juggle things very well.... unless you're one of those cirque du soleil guys and Im pretty sure they're gay.
I got pretty worked up yesterday about the guy who was pouring the concrete pad (at $10 a square foot). He had mismanaged his time, only coming to work on my yard about an hour a day and therefore wasnt ready when the concrete truck came to deliver the concrete. I was at work and unable to watch what was going on, but from my wife's description they were scrambling.... which never bodes well for quality.... EVER! I went home at lunch and saw that he'd ripped the stairs off my deck for starters also I didnt see gravel under the concrete pad. After work when I posed the gravel question (Did you put a layer of gravel there?) He said he had put gravel under there.... but Im pretty sure he's F***ING LYING! No way to prove it though, unless I want to rip up the pad to prove a point. His excuse for rippin up the stairs? 'I wanted to save you money because it costs extra to get the cement poured and I couldnt get past the pad to pick up the piles of dirt and stuff'. Really? Oh thats ok then.......... NOT!! If he hadnt squandered the days before, there would've been plenty of time to get things prepared properly! Not to mention, I'm paying $10 a square foot for CONCRETE! I hate contractors... they're criminals these days and they all have the attitude: 'you should feel privelaged to be 'fiscally raped' by a guy like me because (obviously) if you called me to do the work it means you're incompetent and cant handle real work'. It couldnt possibly be just because Im working full time in an atmosphere where education is a prerequisite and I just dont have the time and tools to do it myself! I was under the impression that $10 a square foot meant just that! It includes the concrete no matter if it's poured from a truck or dumped by the President of the United States helicopter! (silly I know, I'm sure it's not equipped for that.... though when you think about it, at a cost of $50000 per hour to fly you think it would be able to do pretty much anything).
Well... I feel a little better now.....
Apparently my inner child needed to throw a tantrum.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Summer is for slackers
I have sinned... It's been almost 2 months since my last confession.
I was chastised yesterday by my relationship boss... She reminded me that I haven't updated this thing in like forever and it was pissing her off. I wouldnt normally respond to such criticism but it was delivered in tones of such grandiose mocking 'Reason is one letter away from Season....' nyah nyah nyah.
THAT I couldnt ignore.
So what to talk about...
I've established a morning routine. I go through my 'favorite' list of webcomics and then check Google Reader to check on the stories of the day. Most of my subscriptions are very geeky in nature. Lifehacker, Digg (which all by itself is a festering time quagmire), PC World, TechAmok, etc, etc are among the regular courses I digest during my extended intellectual breakfast.
Digg is by far the funniest. People from all over post stories that they see elsewhere (with links to the original stories/articles) and then discuss. It's a pretty cutthroat discussion because comments are 'rated' good or bad (thumbs up or down) and nobody's very tolerant of ignorance or stupidity. There are people firmly entrenched in 'camps' (Microsoft, Apple, Sony, Nintendo, etc), these are generally branded fanboys and they get into the most wicked verbal warfare. Language aside, humor wins in these battles and logic is pretty much ignored. Good times indeed.
Not all conversations end up this way, some are serious. In a way Digg is a club in the vein of book clubs, but where anything and everything goes.
So with that said http://digg.com/ is my Summer Slacker Destination of the Day... enjoy!
I was chastised yesterday by my relationship boss... She reminded me that I haven't updated this thing in like forever and it was pissing her off. I wouldnt normally respond to such criticism but it was delivered in tones of such grandiose mocking 'Reason is one letter away from Season....' nyah nyah nyah.
THAT I couldnt ignore.
So what to talk about...
I've established a morning routine. I go through my 'favorite' list of webcomics and then check Google Reader to check on the stories of the day. Most of my subscriptions are very geeky in nature. Lifehacker, Digg (which all by itself is a festering time quagmire), PC World, TechAmok, etc, etc are among the regular courses I digest during my extended intellectual breakfast.
Digg is by far the funniest. People from all over post stories that they see elsewhere (with links to the original stories/articles) and then discuss. It's a pretty cutthroat discussion because comments are 'rated' good or bad (thumbs up or down) and nobody's very tolerant of ignorance or stupidity. There are people firmly entrenched in 'camps' (Microsoft, Apple, Sony, Nintendo, etc), these are generally branded fanboys and they get into the most wicked verbal warfare. Language aside, humor wins in these battles and logic is pretty much ignored. Good times indeed.
Not all conversations end up this way, some are serious. In a way Digg is a club in the vein of book clubs, but where anything and everything goes.
So with that said http://digg.com/ is my Summer Slacker Destination of the Day... enjoy!
Friday, June 01, 2007
Reason... it's only one letter away from season.
As the electronic media invades our lives, it's easy to get lost.
I see my son and wonder how the TV he watches (Dora the Explorer, Little Einsteins, Go Diego Go, Veggie Tales) is really affecting him. There are so many studies by 'experts' that the water is murky and clouded. I know that he loves watching anything with Fun characters and music. He dances and jumps around and it's entertaining to watch him. At the same time, I wonder if it's too much too soon. Too much stimulation ...
I'm sure my parents said the same thing about whatever advancements there were when I was a kid.
I know that there's always gotta be a scapegoat for things. Some kind of explanation for why kids behave the way they do. It's the way adults think. It's comforting to be able to explain something and if you cant explain it... well thats just unacceptable because everything has an explanation. Kids these days are into video games so that must be the problem. When I was a kid, it was TV or Role Playing Games like D&D. My parents? I believe the problem was Rock and Roll music. Their parents? Big band music I suppose. Too sexy by far...
Dont get me wrong , these days there's more access to ideas and materials to act on ideas than ever before. There's the constant! Kids can be trusted to pretty much do one thing.... Experiment! Without reason, they will try something because it is there. Thats it, the only reason... its there right in front of them. In the back of their heads are the echos of their parents (if they have them) mumbling something, but curiousity will win most of the time. Actually, personality will win. Not all kids are the same. There are a million books out there on how to raise your kids, and there can be a million more written because there are millions of kids and they're all different. One will act badly because of TV, one will act good because of TV, one will be shy, one outgoing, etc etc.
There are few 'truths' that I've heard out there that can be applied to all children. One is that they are little people and the very idea of growing up is that they do indeed grow up. As a parent I have the responsibility to try and instill values and teach that there are consequences to actions because there are... The value teaching has to be done early while they'll still listen, after they reach sentience (probably between 8 and 12) it's nothing but action = consequence. As they learn I transfer responsibilities for their own lives onto them and hopefully they do alright.
I've certainly made a lot of mistakes and I'm sure my kid(s) will learn from some and repeat others no matter what I say or do. I learned the same way and though some were painfull... thats life.
I see my son and wonder how the TV he watches (Dora the Explorer, Little Einsteins, Go Diego Go, Veggie Tales) is really affecting him. There are so many studies by 'experts' that the water is murky and clouded. I know that he loves watching anything with Fun characters and music. He dances and jumps around and it's entertaining to watch him. At the same time, I wonder if it's too much too soon. Too much stimulation ...
I'm sure my parents said the same thing about whatever advancements there were when I was a kid.
I know that there's always gotta be a scapegoat for things. Some kind of explanation for why kids behave the way they do. It's the way adults think. It's comforting to be able to explain something and if you cant explain it... well thats just unacceptable because everything has an explanation. Kids these days are into video games so that must be the problem. When I was a kid, it was TV or Role Playing Games like D&D. My parents? I believe the problem was Rock and Roll music. Their parents? Big band music I suppose. Too sexy by far...
Dont get me wrong , these days there's more access to ideas and materials to act on ideas than ever before. There's the constant! Kids can be trusted to pretty much do one thing.... Experiment! Without reason, they will try something because it is there. Thats it, the only reason... its there right in front of them. In the back of their heads are the echos of their parents (if they have them) mumbling something, but curiousity will win most of the time. Actually, personality will win. Not all kids are the same. There are a million books out there on how to raise your kids, and there can be a million more written because there are millions of kids and they're all different. One will act badly because of TV, one will act good because of TV, one will be shy, one outgoing, etc etc.
There are few 'truths' that I've heard out there that can be applied to all children. One is that they are little people and the very idea of growing up is that they do indeed grow up. As a parent I have the responsibility to try and instill values and teach that there are consequences to actions because there are... The value teaching has to be done early while they'll still listen, after they reach sentience (probably between 8 and 12) it's nothing but action = consequence. As they learn I transfer responsibilities for their own lives onto them and hopefully they do alright.
I've certainly made a lot of mistakes and I'm sure my kid(s) will learn from some and repeat others no matter what I say or do. I learned the same way and though some were painfull... thats life.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Universe is Expanding
... and yet my world is getting smaller everyday.
I thought that the more experience that I had in my field the more options that I would have in the work field. Not so, instead I have the feeling that I'm being 'funneled'... typecast perhaps. The more responsibilities that are piled on, the less options that I appear to have.
In my latest move, a few things were made clear.
One, I have a lot of 'stuff'. Probably too much stuff. I'm contemplating a garage sale to get rid of some of the stuff we've been packing around from place to place. Or maybe I should just chuck it. A friend who was helping made the comment that we hadnt moved enough if I was still hanging onto the back issues of 'Mens Health'.
I dont subscribe to that magazine anymore. Part of me gave that idea up a long time ago. There's a idiot inside though that still recognizes the value of the information contained in the pages and the mizer (packrat) part of me says hey maybe I'll need it again one day and I wouldnt want to be without it.
I hate taking steps backwards... to me it feels like I'm losing if I do. I've taken a few gambles in my life and for the most part have come out ahead. At the times that I've rolled the dice though I cant say that I had that much to lose. Now? It's a different story.
I find myself treading carefully here... a misstep and I'm not the only one who suffers.
I dont long for my single days, I had different problems then ... but I really like the song 'Consequence Free' by Great Big Sea.
I thought that the more experience that I had in my field the more options that I would have in the work field. Not so, instead I have the feeling that I'm being 'funneled'... typecast perhaps. The more responsibilities that are piled on, the less options that I appear to have.
In my latest move, a few things were made clear.
One, I have a lot of 'stuff'. Probably too much stuff. I'm contemplating a garage sale to get rid of some of the stuff we've been packing around from place to place. Or maybe I should just chuck it. A friend who was helping made the comment that we hadnt moved enough if I was still hanging onto the back issues of 'Mens Health'.
I dont subscribe to that magazine anymore. Part of me gave that idea up a long time ago. There's a idiot inside though that still recognizes the value of the information contained in the pages and the mizer (packrat) part of me says hey maybe I'll need it again one day and I wouldnt want to be without it.
I hate taking steps backwards... to me it feels like I'm losing if I do. I've taken a few gambles in my life and for the most part have come out ahead. At the times that I've rolled the dice though I cant say that I had that much to lose. Now? It's a different story.
I find myself treading carefully here... a misstep and I'm not the only one who suffers.
I dont long for my single days, I had different problems then ... but I really like the song 'Consequence Free' by Great Big Sea.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
I like it rough....
I'm hurting.... and not in a good way.
We're 95% moved out of our old house and into the new. There's still a piano in the basement, a few things in the garage, and some odds and ends here and there. If there's one thing this move reminded me of, is that hiring movers is a good thing. You get to sit back and watch the work. When you get friends to help, you still have to work your ass off! It was good that we had some help, but Im in pain!
The process has been bloody long. From the moment I accepted this assignment, to the preparation to come up here, to the month up here by myself, the attempt to build a house, the rental, the first move, the months and months of f&$%ing renovations, the sale of the old house, the buying of the new house, and now the latest move.... what the hell was I thinking!?!
You would think that financially the whole thing probably paid off..... nope! Once I factor in all the costs, the moves, the renos, the trips back and forth, the insane marketplace, and all the excrement I described above.... it puts me back to where I started and maybe even a little further behind than that.
Was it good for my family? The jury's still deliberating. Im closer to work, though I've had to work 10 hour days pretty much from the start, so thats a wash. We havent had a chance to relax and enjoy anything, so that's been a big stress. I'd like to say that things will change and hopefully they will.
We're almost down to one house.... almost. Of course now as we focus our attention on the house we see all the crap that needs to be done on this one......
We're 95% moved out of our old house and into the new. There's still a piano in the basement, a few things in the garage, and some odds and ends here and there. If there's one thing this move reminded me of, is that hiring movers is a good thing. You get to sit back and watch the work. When you get friends to help, you still have to work your ass off! It was good that we had some help, but Im in pain!
The process has been bloody long. From the moment I accepted this assignment, to the preparation to come up here, to the month up here by myself, the attempt to build a house, the rental, the first move, the months and months of f&$%ing renovations, the sale of the old house, the buying of the new house, and now the latest move.... what the hell was I thinking!?!
You would think that financially the whole thing probably paid off..... nope! Once I factor in all the costs, the moves, the renos, the trips back and forth, the insane marketplace, and all the excrement I described above.... it puts me back to where I started and maybe even a little further behind than that.
Was it good for my family? The jury's still deliberating. Im closer to work, though I've had to work 10 hour days pretty much from the start, so thats a wash. We havent had a chance to relax and enjoy anything, so that's been a big stress. I'd like to say that things will change and hopefully they will.
We're almost down to one house.... almost. Of course now as we focus our attention on the house we see all the crap that needs to be done on this one......
Friday, May 11, 2007
Condiments make things tasty!!
I started this blog with a chip on my shoulder and serious need for an outlet (one that wouldn't wind up with me incarcerated) all you have to do is go back to the beginning of my posts to see how enormous the wood was (even if only in my mind).
Now as the fog begins to lift, so does my disposition. I still have plenty that I could humorously gripe about... though as I purvey the smorgasbord of options, I wonder to what purpose?
I suppose that's why I haven't written in a while. Unsure of what to write, I was caught in a doldrums-like state with no winds of inspiration to drive me. That and I got lazy... really lazy. After 9 months of hard work I kicked back and said f(*& it!
I decided to visit my blog today however and saw that there were new comments! Oh joy of joys my life has meaning again! Pffffft! ............Seriously though, it sparked enough of a desire to break the inertia of mental purgatory that I've been in..... at least for a bit anyhow.
So what to talk about? video games? tech crap? news? politics? sports? family life? I suppose I can do a little of 'all of the above'. There's certainly a lot of griping left to do! I still have to move yet again! One more voice of 'reason' amongst all the crazy people mumbling to themselves will most likely be indistinguishable from white noise
There's also one thing for sure. I'm not dedicated enough to have multiple blogs..... so a mishmash it will stay!
Now as the fog begins to lift, so does my disposition. I still have plenty that I could humorously gripe about... though as I purvey the smorgasbord of options, I wonder to what purpose?
I suppose that's why I haven't written in a while. Unsure of what to write, I was caught in a doldrums-like state with no winds of inspiration to drive me. That and I got lazy... really lazy. After 9 months of hard work I kicked back and said f(*& it!
I decided to visit my blog today however and saw that there were new comments! Oh joy of joys my life has meaning again! Pffffft! ............Seriously though, it sparked enough of a desire to break the inertia of mental purgatory that I've been in..... at least for a bit anyhow.
So what to talk about? video games? tech crap? news? politics? sports? family life? I suppose I can do a little of 'all of the above'. There's certainly a lot of griping left to do! I still have to move yet again! One more voice of 'reason' amongst all the crazy people mumbling to themselves will most likely be indistinguishable from white noise
There's also one thing for sure. I'm not dedicated enough to have multiple blogs..... so a mishmash it will stay!
Monday, April 09, 2007
A Good Weekend
Not being able to recall a previous weekend where I was actually able to enjoy it with my family, I would have to say this was a very good weekend indeed.
We started by buying a house. Yes indeed, the deal is done. Well, unless the house inspection finds something, but thats (knock on wood) highly unlikely. Crap, maybe I just jinxed it.
The rest of the weekend was spent mostly playing and relaxing and was capped off by a great sunday. After church, my wife made a Ham. I capitalize Ham because this was the God of all Hams. Truly an amazing feat! It was her first ham which is even more amazing. A bone-in hickory smoked ham to start off with, she cooked it to perfection, basting it regularily with a glaze that will haunt my memory for time and all eternity. It was comprised of maple syrup, brown sugar, dijon mustard, love, and a little apple orange banana juice to add a little more moisture. My words really dont do it justice....
After that fantastic Ham, we took Jacob out for his first Easter Egg Hunt.
Pure. Joy.
For the first time in a loooong time, we felt normal again.
The day was beautiful.
We started by buying a house. Yes indeed, the deal is done. Well, unless the house inspection finds something, but thats (knock on wood) highly unlikely. Crap, maybe I just jinxed it.
The rest of the weekend was spent mostly playing and relaxing and was capped off by a great sunday. After church, my wife made a Ham. I capitalize Ham because this was the God of all Hams. Truly an amazing feat! It was her first ham which is even more amazing. A bone-in hickory smoked ham to start off with, she cooked it to perfection, basting it regularily with a glaze that will haunt my memory for time and all eternity. It was comprised of maple syrup, brown sugar, dijon mustard, love, and a little apple orange banana juice to add a little more moisture. My words really dont do it justice....
After that fantastic Ham, we took Jacob out for his first Easter Egg Hunt.
Pure. Joy.
For the first time in a loooong time, we felt normal again.
The day was beautiful.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Happy Happy Joy Joy ...
The longer you go without doing something, the easier it is to put it off even longer.
Blogging, taxes... you name it... I'm hard pressed to think of something that is easier to do the longer you put it off. So why do I do it?
The House is closed. That angry chapter in my life is almost over...... bring on the next angry one!
Actually, Im kind of enjoying the homeless limbo I find myself in. It would be better if house prices werent so crazy here which cause us to panic-buy a new house.... and there's still the interim expenses till the possession date kicks in.... and the fact that we have to get serious about getting another house... and there's work... oh and bills ... .... and taxes ...... ... ..... .... .... .. crap.
You never fully appreciate the lack of responsibility when you have it (or dont have it?). I suppose that's part of that particular state of joy. Not that it was true joy... more like ignorant bliss. When I was there, I never thought too much about the future. I wasnt thinking "How great this lack of anything pressing is!". There wasn't any balance to it. I lacked the things that would truly make me happy. The opposition is there so that when I finally get a break it really means something. Of course, Im still waiting for the break....... hopefully when it comes it will be the good kind of break....
Blogging, taxes... you name it... I'm hard pressed to think of something that is easier to do the longer you put it off. So why do I do it?
The House is closed. That angry chapter in my life is almost over...... bring on the next angry one!
Actually, Im kind of enjoying the homeless limbo I find myself in. It would be better if house prices werent so crazy here which cause us to panic-buy a new house.... and there's still the interim expenses till the possession date kicks in.... and the fact that we have to get serious about getting another house... and there's work... oh and bills ... .... and taxes ...... ... ..... .... .... .. crap.
You never fully appreciate the lack of responsibility when you have it (or dont have it?). I suppose that's part of that particular state of joy. Not that it was true joy... more like ignorant bliss. When I was there, I never thought too much about the future. I wasnt thinking "How great this lack of anything pressing is!". There wasn't any balance to it. I lacked the things that would truly make me happy. The opposition is there so that when I finally get a break it really means something. Of course, Im still waiting for the break....... hopefully when it comes it will be the good kind of break....
Monday, March 19, 2007
Fini
After all the angry maniacal raves, the sleep deprivation sessions, the work, the anguish, the good times, the bad times, the triumphs, the failures, the thousands and thousands of dollars .... it's done.
Sunday at 11:00pm we walked out the door and turned out the lights.
It didnt feel how I thought it would though. As I looked around at the empty rooms, all the memories started to come back to me and I felt sadness. I've been hating this house for months! Now Im sad thats its done?!? That's messed up.
Last night I was feeling conflicted as I drove. I turned on the radio and 'Alive' by Edwin was playing (really, it was!). That made me think I should be happy..... just to be alive apparently.
I know why Im sad (there are a lot of good memories in that house, it's our first house, Jacob was born there, the amount of work, etc) but... WHERE'S MY F$^%ING JOY?! My sense of satisfaction ?!? Something? Anything?
Maybe its the fact that this is just another step. We still are going to buy another house. Most likely really soon before the market goes crazy yet again.
Anyways, the place is done, I'll sort out my feelings as I go.
Sunday at 11:00pm we walked out the door and turned out the lights.
It didnt feel how I thought it would though. As I looked around at the empty rooms, all the memories started to come back to me and I felt sadness. I've been hating this house for months! Now Im sad thats its done?!? That's messed up.
Last night I was feeling conflicted as I drove. I turned on the radio and 'Alive' by Edwin was playing (really, it was!). That made me think I should be happy..... just to be alive apparently.
I know why Im sad (there are a lot of good memories in that house, it's our first house, Jacob was born there, the amount of work, etc) but... WHERE'S MY F$^%ING JOY?! My sense of satisfaction ?!? Something? Anything?
Maybe its the fact that this is just another step. We still are going to buy another house. Most likely really soon before the market goes crazy yet again.
Anyways, the place is done, I'll sort out my feelings as I go.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Welcome! To Fantasy Island!!
I think even my wife has stopped reading this due to the sporadic frequency attributed to my posts.
The house is almost done. I cant let myself be jubilant yet, therein lies the path to disappointment. When the last task is done, the house is listed, sold, and I actually can see the money in my account, then I will believe. Has faith been pounded out of me? Its the same feeling I get when Im in an airport. I cant relax until Im through security, the boarding gate and Im actually sitting on a plane. Im sure there's some psychological disorder attributed to it. If not, I hereby claim this malady as 'Anthotic'.
'Im sorry sir, there's nothing to be done. You're really quite Anthotic. There's no cure Im afraid. We can prescribe some drugs to lesson the effect, you wont be cured but you wont care.'
The House (dun dun dun dah!) actually looks pretty great. There are 1 or 2 little things to do and then clean up and thats it, finally. I tell myself that it's still November 2006. Thats when we wanted it done and on the market.... ha!
Next weekend for sure... I'll take pictures!
The house is almost done. I cant let myself be jubilant yet, therein lies the path to disappointment. When the last task is done, the house is listed, sold, and I actually can see the money in my account, then I will believe. Has faith been pounded out of me? Its the same feeling I get when Im in an airport. I cant relax until Im through security, the boarding gate and Im actually sitting on a plane. Im sure there's some psychological disorder attributed to it. If not, I hereby claim this malady as 'Anthotic'.
'Im sorry sir, there's nothing to be done. You're really quite Anthotic. There's no cure Im afraid. We can prescribe some drugs to lesson the effect, you wont be cured but you wont care.'
The House (dun dun dun dah!) actually looks pretty great. There are 1 or 2 little things to do and then clean up and thats it, finally. I tell myself that it's still November 2006. Thats when we wanted it done and on the market.... ha!
Next weekend for sure... I'll take pictures!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Pot Never Boils
For weeks... months really, nobody contacts me from work. I go away for one week to work on my house and suddenly Im in demand. Emails, voice mails, etc . It took me all monday morning to go through.
I have this feeling of general blah. I havent had an original thought in weeks. My only reality seems to be determined by a house. The really self flaggelating thing is we plan to do this again (and possibly again) in the future. The only way to get a mortgage down to a truly manageable amount is the 'Property Ladder'. Though the lottery would be nice as well...
This is the reality of today in Alberta. Oh I know it's not just here, but it's really nutty here. I dont know where the money is coming from. People say it's all the oil but who really gets that money? It doesnt trickle down to the common employee. The big companies are the ones raking it in and they dont like to share. I should know, I'm one of the little people. Actually, Im probably somewhere in the shrinking middle... but thats not the point.
Where the big money is, if you are a little person, seems to be in the trades. A tradesperson in Alberta has a license to print money it seems. They charge what they want, show up when they want and generally dont seem to have to answer to anyone. Specifically, construction contractors. I dont want to stand too high here, but man.... the stories I've heard are downright criminal.... and they're considered reality! 'You have to expect that when dealing with contractors' WHY!?! Why do I have to expect that when dealing with contractors?
Why is it that when a service becomes in demand, those delivering the service suddenly decide to take the low road and deliver less for more? Is it fear? Get all you can while you can.
Simply because you CAN charge more for doing less (and with less quality), doesnt mean you should.
I'd like to hear some positive stories for a change about contractors doing more for less....
Why is that statement so funny?
I have this feeling of general blah. I havent had an original thought in weeks. My only reality seems to be determined by a house. The really self flaggelating thing is we plan to do this again (and possibly again) in the future. The only way to get a mortgage down to a truly manageable amount is the 'Property Ladder'. Though the lottery would be nice as well...
This is the reality of today in Alberta. Oh I know it's not just here, but it's really nutty here. I dont know where the money is coming from. People say it's all the oil but who really gets that money? It doesnt trickle down to the common employee. The big companies are the ones raking it in and they dont like to share. I should know, I'm one of the little people. Actually, Im probably somewhere in the shrinking middle... but thats not the point.
Where the big money is, if you are a little person, seems to be in the trades. A tradesperson in Alberta has a license to print money it seems. They charge what they want, show up when they want and generally dont seem to have to answer to anyone. Specifically, construction contractors. I dont want to stand too high here, but man.... the stories I've heard are downright criminal.... and they're considered reality! 'You have to expect that when dealing with contractors' WHY!?! Why do I have to expect that when dealing with contractors?
Why is it that when a service becomes in demand, those delivering the service suddenly decide to take the low road and deliver less for more? Is it fear? Get all you can while you can.
Simply because you CAN charge more for doing less (and with less quality), doesnt mean you should.
I'd like to hear some positive stories for a change about contractors doing more for less....
Why is that statement so funny?
Monday, February 05, 2007
Dissatisfaction
It's been a little while since I posted last. Just havent felt inspired I guess... I havent been emotional enough ... good or bad.
Not that Im doing this for anyone else (though if anyone is actually reading this, I do like comments cause then it feels more like a conversation). Anyways, on with the show.
On the good side of things, I got some work done on the house. Mostly some plumbing type work in the bathrooms. I cant say I got as much done as I'd have liked, but I ran into some issues along the way and had to 'make it right'. We've set a goal of putting up the house for sale in March. There's quite a bit still to do, but I think we should be able to accomplish it. I will probably have to take some vacation time though. I get giddy over the idea of actually having the place done. I literally get chills.
On the darker side of things...
Why are some people so crazy? What switch goes off in someone's head that tells them it's ok to be a complete and utter idiot?
We drove down to Calgary on Thursday night. We being Catherine, Jacob, and I. I was passing a silver car on my right and this truck comes flying up behind us. Im still beside the silver car so I cant pull over yet. The truck flashes the high beams but I still cant quite pull over. So what does he do? He cuts off the silver car on my right barely missing it, then proceeds to pull into my lane causing me to slam on my brakes and pull onto the shoulder! He didnt just cut me off, he actually tried to hit us! I had no time to think, I just reacted. If my reactions had been wrong.....
Heart pounding, I didnt know what to do next.... do I follow and try to get the cops on this guy? His actions have shown he has no inhibitions about using his car as a weapon.... and I've got my wife and 19 month old son in the car. I couldnt take the chance that this night would turn into The Night My Life Was Ruined... so I watched helplessly as he sped off down the road. It was a pretty messy night, license plates were caked with mud, there was nothing we could call in.
Jacob slept through the whole thing, Cath and I really couldnt believe what we experienced....
What possesses a person to do something like that? He really couldnt wait 10 seconds for me to be able to safely pull over? I guess I'll never know what was going on there and can only hope that the guy (or girl I guess) doesnt go on to kill someone else.
Im dont wanna brood over this, I just wanted to get the experience off my chest.
Though a big part of me shakes with rage and a desire to find that idiot.... but what then? Really.... what would I do? Beat him up? Smash his truck? In doing these things, I would break the law and probably have to pay. There is no satisfaction there, the only course of action that would be have been just is if there was a cop right there and could have brought the law down on him. But there wasnt, and I know realistically that I dont have enough evidence to find the guy and charge him.
So he gets away with it and will probably do it again...
Not that Im doing this for anyone else (though if anyone is actually reading this, I do like comments cause then it feels more like a conversation). Anyways, on with the show.
On the good side of things, I got some work done on the house. Mostly some plumbing type work in the bathrooms. I cant say I got as much done as I'd have liked, but I ran into some issues along the way and had to 'make it right'. We've set a goal of putting up the house for sale in March. There's quite a bit still to do, but I think we should be able to accomplish it. I will probably have to take some vacation time though. I get giddy over the idea of actually having the place done. I literally get chills.
On the darker side of things...
Why are some people so crazy? What switch goes off in someone's head that tells them it's ok to be a complete and utter idiot?
We drove down to Calgary on Thursday night. We being Catherine, Jacob, and I. I was passing a silver car on my right and this truck comes flying up behind us. Im still beside the silver car so I cant pull over yet. The truck flashes the high beams but I still cant quite pull over. So what does he do? He cuts off the silver car on my right barely missing it, then proceeds to pull into my lane causing me to slam on my brakes and pull onto the shoulder! He didnt just cut me off, he actually tried to hit us! I had no time to think, I just reacted. If my reactions had been wrong.....
Heart pounding, I didnt know what to do next.... do I follow and try to get the cops on this guy? His actions have shown he has no inhibitions about using his car as a weapon.... and I've got my wife and 19 month old son in the car. I couldnt take the chance that this night would turn into The Night My Life Was Ruined... so I watched helplessly as he sped off down the road. It was a pretty messy night, license plates were caked with mud, there was nothing we could call in.
Jacob slept through the whole thing, Cath and I really couldnt believe what we experienced....
What possesses a person to do something like that? He really couldnt wait 10 seconds for me to be able to safely pull over? I guess I'll never know what was going on there and can only hope that the guy (or girl I guess) doesnt go on to kill someone else.
Im dont wanna brood over this, I just wanted to get the experience off my chest.
Though a big part of me shakes with rage and a desire to find that idiot.... but what then? Really.... what would I do? Beat him up? Smash his truck? In doing these things, I would break the law and probably have to pay. There is no satisfaction there, the only course of action that would be have been just is if there was a cop right there and could have brought the law down on him. But there wasnt, and I know realistically that I dont have enough evidence to find the guy and charge him.
So he gets away with it and will probably do it again...
Monday, January 22, 2007
007
I finally got to see Casino Royale on the weekend and I must say that I was very impressed.
As a kid I loved everything about the James Bond series ... the gadgets, the toys ..... the sexy women!?! They were always so fantastic, so unreal, that you couldnt really imagine James Bond as a real person, he was more of a superhero.
Until now...
I love the new direction they're taken with James Bond. He's a little closer to reality. Exchanging toys and gadgets with quick thinking and incredible athleticism was a smart move. Looking through my 'adult' eyes, he's still far above my meager abilities , yet he still makes mistakes and then is able to overcome them. He looks the part and is not afraid to win by any means necessary, be it quick thinking or simple brute strength. I liked Pearce Brosnan but could never realistically picture him winning a fight in the UFC octagon. I wouldnt bet against Daniel Craig though and I think 'James Bond' would do fairly decent in the ring being a 00 agent and all.
Bottom Line: A must see and worth the price of admission.
Anyways, the movie was the cap of a pretty decent weekend. I did a little work on the house, got some baseboards done, ran a few errands, spent some time with the family. All in all not a bad stint.
As a kid I loved everything about the James Bond series ... the gadgets, the toys ..... the sexy women!?! They were always so fantastic, so unreal, that you couldnt really imagine James Bond as a real person, he was more of a superhero.
Until now...
I love the new direction they're taken with James Bond. He's a little closer to reality. Exchanging toys and gadgets with quick thinking and incredible athleticism was a smart move. Looking through my 'adult' eyes, he's still far above my meager abilities , yet he still makes mistakes and then is able to overcome them. He looks the part and is not afraid to win by any means necessary, be it quick thinking or simple brute strength. I liked Pearce Brosnan but could never realistically picture him winning a fight in the UFC octagon. I wouldnt bet against Daniel Craig though and I think 'James Bond' would do fairly decent in the ring being a 00 agent and all.
Bottom Line: A must see and worth the price of admission.
Anyways, the movie was the cap of a pretty decent weekend. I did a little work on the house, got some baseboards done, ran a few errands, spent some time with the family. All in all not a bad stint.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Yea though I walk....
Devoid of emotion, I walk the walk of the damned. A curious shuffling gait interspersed with incoherent mumblings.
No longer do colors (the reds, the blues, the yellows.... the fuscias) fill my world. The vibrant hues that decorated my past have been washed out, changing the world from a rich summer into a cold dim mid-winter twilight.
The hollow echoes serve to amplify what would otherwise be silence. Once music played here.... happy music which filled the soul with hope and love. Now there is only the muffled sound of footsteps, pausing every so often, then continuing.... ever continuing.
The smells... oh the smells.... once my world was filled with the smell of freshly baked cookies. Now... I... smell........ oatmeal? As the tantalizing olfactory memories fade... were they real? Have I fabricated them?
My mouth salivates as I visualize how a nanaimo bar tastes..... tasted.... I did eat them once. Unless I've gone insane as well....
The dark chocolate topping melts and dances across my taste buds, the sugary yellow icing ignites a reaction that quickens my pulse and causes my nerves to shiver. The coconut fudge base provides a firm foundation which ties and binds the components into a perfectly formed union of all that is right and good in the universe.
The memory causes my eyes to moisten in remembrance....
Gone ..... gone are the joyous days of spring ....
.
.
.
Im on a diet.
.
.
.
No longer do colors (the reds, the blues, the yellows.... the fuscias) fill my world. The vibrant hues that decorated my past have been washed out, changing the world from a rich summer into a cold dim mid-winter twilight.
The hollow echoes serve to amplify what would otherwise be silence. Once music played here.... happy music which filled the soul with hope and love. Now there is only the muffled sound of footsteps, pausing every so often, then continuing.... ever continuing.
The smells... oh the smells.... once my world was filled with the smell of freshly baked cookies. Now... I... smell........ oatmeal? As the tantalizing olfactory memories fade... were they real? Have I fabricated them?
My mouth salivates as I visualize how a nanaimo bar tastes..... tasted.... I did eat them once. Unless I've gone insane as well....
The dark chocolate topping melts and dances across my taste buds, the sugary yellow icing ignites a reaction that quickens my pulse and causes my nerves to shiver. The coconut fudge base provides a firm foundation which ties and binds the components into a perfectly formed union of all that is right and good in the universe.
The memory causes my eyes to moisten in remembrance....
Gone ..... gone are the joyous days of spring ....
.
.
.
Im on a diet.
.
.
.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Let the good times roll...
OK, so the last post was a little out of character. Plus, I didnt mention that the song was the theme from The Littlest Hobo, one of the favorite shows from my childhood days. Some people got it, others thought I wrote a song about a dog (Hee Hee).
The weekend didnt turn out like I planned. I had a self-created long weekend. I worked 10 hour days last week and took the friday off. Thursday night we rolled into Cowtown and just as we got there the little guy threw up the fries we had slipped him. We chalked that up to bad fast food and went about our thing on Friday. Friday night he didnt seem so hot and early in the morning I was awakened by my wife who said Jacob was having trouble breathing. I rocked the little guy to sleep but he would wake up frequently with really bad coughing. I awoke Cath and we decided to head to the Childrens hospital because after talking with family and friends we figured out he had croup. It was confirmed at the hospital and we were admitted into the ER there.
There were several heartbreaking times during this ordeal. The first being as we were preparing to go to the hospital, I was finally getting him to cheer up by playing with some balls with him. He loves balls.... its one of the few words in his repetoire. I had to drag him away from the balls to take him to the car and as we are leaving he is crying in a choked little voice and saying 'ball'! 'ball'! Then we get him to the Childrens Hospital and we cheer him up in the waiting room where there are a myriad of toys and activity stations (probably the best thing about the new hospital), only then we take him to a little room where there is nothing to do and people constantly come in and cause him nothing but pain and distress. Poor little guy.....
They have an oral steroid there but it takes 4 hours to kick in and in the meantime there is a kind of vaporizing treatment (cant remember what is in it). They have to hold a mask over the child's face for 7 minutes. Jacob cannot stand things near his face. He REALLY cant stand being held down or restrained in any way and he is extremely strong for his size. You can imagine how it went. I could see the terror in his eyes. He fought and screamed the entire time with all his strength. He didnt let up... not once. I really had to work hard to hold him. Not to mention it was one of the most emotionally painful things I've ever done.
In most cases, they only have to do the mask treatment once but either his croup was bad enough or he just didnt get enough, but we wound up having to do it again an hour later.... and again he fought. I am amazed at how strong and determined he is.... and stubborn. Thankfully the second round took hold and after a very long time of being in an uncomfortable little examination room (they really need to rethink their setup) we were able to take him home.
During that monitoring time, they were not able to take his vitals as the first site of anyone besides Cath and I getting close to him would upset him greatly. The nurse just gave up and came back after we got him to sleep.
A funny little side effect of the steroid? It makes the kid hyper! Saturday night we are wasted from no sleep and Jacob's running laps. It was good to see him active though.
He is doing better now and the rest of the weekend (such as it were) was just spent trying to recover. He still coughs and is more clingy than usual, but doesnt sound like a seal, which is good.
Nothing really adequately prepares you for this parenting gig....
The weekend didnt turn out like I planned. I had a self-created long weekend. I worked 10 hour days last week and took the friday off. Thursday night we rolled into Cowtown and just as we got there the little guy threw up the fries we had slipped him. We chalked that up to bad fast food and went about our thing on Friday. Friday night he didnt seem so hot and early in the morning I was awakened by my wife who said Jacob was having trouble breathing. I rocked the little guy to sleep but he would wake up frequently with really bad coughing. I awoke Cath and we decided to head to the Childrens hospital because after talking with family and friends we figured out he had croup. It was confirmed at the hospital and we were admitted into the ER there.
There were several heartbreaking times during this ordeal. The first being as we were preparing to go to the hospital, I was finally getting him to cheer up by playing with some balls with him. He loves balls.... its one of the few words in his repetoire. I had to drag him away from the balls to take him to the car and as we are leaving he is crying in a choked little voice and saying 'ball'! 'ball'! Then we get him to the Childrens Hospital and we cheer him up in the waiting room where there are a myriad of toys and activity stations (probably the best thing about the new hospital), only then we take him to a little room where there is nothing to do and people constantly come in and cause him nothing but pain and distress. Poor little guy.....
They have an oral steroid there but it takes 4 hours to kick in and in the meantime there is a kind of vaporizing treatment (cant remember what is in it). They have to hold a mask over the child's face for 7 minutes. Jacob cannot stand things near his face. He REALLY cant stand being held down or restrained in any way and he is extremely strong for his size. You can imagine how it went. I could see the terror in his eyes. He fought and screamed the entire time with all his strength. He didnt let up... not once. I really had to work hard to hold him. Not to mention it was one of the most emotionally painful things I've ever done.
In most cases, they only have to do the mask treatment once but either his croup was bad enough or he just didnt get enough, but we wound up having to do it again an hour later.... and again he fought. I am amazed at how strong and determined he is.... and stubborn. Thankfully the second round took hold and after a very long time of being in an uncomfortable little examination room (they really need to rethink their setup) we were able to take him home.
During that monitoring time, they were not able to take his vitals as the first site of anyone besides Cath and I getting close to him would upset him greatly. The nurse just gave up and came back after we got him to sleep.
A funny little side effect of the steroid? It makes the kid hyper! Saturday night we are wasted from no sleep and Jacob's running laps. It was good to see him active though.
He is doing better now and the rest of the weekend (such as it were) was just spent trying to recover. He still coughs and is more clingy than usual, but doesnt sound like a seal, which is good.
Nothing really adequately prepares you for this parenting gig....
Thursday, January 11, 2007
In my head the hills are alive....
Try to make it through this post without singing... I highly doubt the possibility of it... and yes if you sing in your head it still counts. I cant even go through it without seeing dogs and thinking of fonder days where dogs saved people instead of having to be put down because they bit someone who most likely deserved it. Dogs get a bad rap these days.... we've let our best friends down.
Ready?
1 .. 2 .. 3 ..
THERE'S A VOICE,THAT KEEPS ON CALLING ME.
DOWN THE ROAD,IS WHERE I'LL ALWAYS BE.
EVERY STOP I MAKE,
I'LL MAKE A NEW FRIEND.
CAN'T STAY FOR LONG, JUST TURN AROUND AND I'M GONE AGAIN.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANNA SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON
DOWN THIS ROAD, THAT NEVER SEEMS TO END,
WHERE NEW ADVENTURE, LIES JUST AROUND THE BEND
SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, THE WHOLE WORLD IS MY HOME
SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
Instrumental Bridge
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
THERE'S A WORLD, THAT'S WAITING TO UNFOLD,
A BRAND NEW TALE, NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD,
WE'VE JOURNEY'D FAR BUT, YOU KNOW IT WON'T BE LONG,
WE'RE ALMOST THERE AND WE'VE PAID OUR FARE, WITH THE HOBO SONG.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.
MAYBE TOMORROW I'LL FIND WHAT I CALL HOME,
UNTIL TOMORROW, YOU KNOW I'M FREE TO ROAM.
Oh Yeah, thats the stuff....
Ready?
1 .. 2 .. 3 ..
THERE'S A VOICE,THAT KEEPS ON CALLING ME.
DOWN THE ROAD,IS WHERE I'LL ALWAYS BE.
EVERY STOP I MAKE,
I'LL MAKE A NEW FRIEND.
CAN'T STAY FOR LONG, JUST TURN AROUND AND I'M GONE AGAIN.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANNA SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON
DOWN THIS ROAD, THAT NEVER SEEMS TO END,
WHERE NEW ADVENTURE, LIES JUST AROUND THE BEND
SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, THE WHOLE WORLD IS MY HOME
SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
Instrumental Bridge
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
THERE'S A WORLD, THAT'S WAITING TO UNFOLD,
A BRAND NEW TALE, NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD,
WE'VE JOURNEY'D FAR BUT, YOU KNOW IT WON'T BE LONG,
WE'RE ALMOST THERE AND WE'VE PAID OUR FARE, WITH THE HOBO SONG.
MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN,
UNTIL TOMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
SO IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR A WHILE,
JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT,THAT'S HOBO STYLE.
MAYBE TOMORROW I'LL FIND WHAT I CALL HOME,
UNTIL TOMORROW, YOU KNOW I'M FREE TO ROAM.
Oh Yeah, thats the stuff....
Monday, January 08, 2007
A Snails Pace
I didnt go down to Calgary on the weekend like I planned.
Instead I nursed a cold and moped around the house in SP. I did however play a lot of Guitar Hero and rocked out when I could, so the weekend wasnt an entire loss.
New Years Eve was kind of a bust this year so I never really got around to the whole resolution thing. I've thought about, but really the goals are the same whether it's New Years or not.
As always there is the health issue. I need to get back into shape. (hopefully a good shape) There are many shapes out there, the one I would prefer is about 60 pounds lighter than the shape I currently possess.
Mentally, I would like to procrastinate less. Even though I feel like I have to climb Mt Everest this year (it's really only more like K2) the only way to get there is one step at a time. There's a huge list of items with my name on it and every week I have to accomplish something. Of course thats not including having to deal with all the day to day and new issues that seem to appear out of nowhere.
My wifey sprang a pop quiz on energy on me and it turns out that 56% of my physical energy is being sucked out of me by various mentally stressful aspects of my environment, relationships, etc. That assumes of course that the source of the quiz knew what the hell they were talking about. That more than the New Year has prompted a surge of motivational feelings regarding my life the universe and everthing.
So with my remaining 44% I will slowly regain more of the other 56%.... hopefully.
Some of the areas of energy drain are hard though because they're out of my control. Annoying people that I come into regular contact with for example... sometimes they're just unavoidable. The energy drain comes from having to deal with them, even if dealing with them is making the choice to internalize their idiocy and not let it affect your mental/emotional state. Everything requires energy. Some people give, others take...
The point is: I will be happy with myself this year if I can show a continual progression. As slow as it may be.
Instead I nursed a cold and moped around the house in SP. I did however play a lot of Guitar Hero and rocked out when I could, so the weekend wasnt an entire loss.
New Years Eve was kind of a bust this year so I never really got around to the whole resolution thing. I've thought about, but really the goals are the same whether it's New Years or not.
As always there is the health issue. I need to get back into shape. (hopefully a good shape) There are many shapes out there, the one I would prefer is about 60 pounds lighter than the shape I currently possess.
Mentally, I would like to procrastinate less. Even though I feel like I have to climb Mt Everest this year (it's really only more like K2) the only way to get there is one step at a time. There's a huge list of items with my name on it and every week I have to accomplish something. Of course thats not including having to deal with all the day to day and new issues that seem to appear out of nowhere.
My wifey sprang a pop quiz on energy on me and it turns out that 56% of my physical energy is being sucked out of me by various mentally stressful aspects of my environment, relationships, etc. That assumes of course that the source of the quiz knew what the hell they were talking about. That more than the New Year has prompted a surge of motivational feelings regarding my life the universe and everthing.
So with my remaining 44% I will slowly regain more of the other 56%.... hopefully.
Some of the areas of energy drain are hard though because they're out of my control. Annoying people that I come into regular contact with for example... sometimes they're just unavoidable. The energy drain comes from having to deal with them, even if dealing with them is making the choice to internalize their idiocy and not let it affect your mental/emotional state. Everything requires energy. Some people give, others take...
The point is: I will be happy with myself this year if I can show a continual progression. As slow as it may be.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
My lucky number
I took a break this Christmas. You cant really take a break from everything, but I took a break from some things.
Breaks:
I really only touched the computer if I had to. Therefore, no blog.
I only went to Calgary (for one day) once to work on the house.
Work of course.
The list of things I didnt get a break from is not important.
The holiday started off well enough, not working is generally a good thing. At least when you know that money is still coming in.
brief recap....
The inlaws came a little early and commandeered our room, but thats OK, cause they're old and not in the best of health. We couldnt really expect them to sleep on the double bed (or the couch). Unfortunately, my mother in law got sick the day they came and continued to be bedridden till the day they left. It really cast a pallor over the whole christmas thing. There was the gift opening and the dinner and it really was pretty good. I certainly have no complaints over either. I got some video games and ate a lot of junk food. The latter prompting the perennial 'I gotta get in shape this year... and I mean it this time!' resolution.
The boxing day sales did not dissapoint. I made the mad trip to the Tommy outlet and stocked up on some clothes.
Probably the coolest thing of the time period was the fact that I have a guy working on my house while im away. The feeling that things are being done in my absence is indescribable. Joy Oh Joy..... excuse me, Im a little verklempt.
Will the house be done in my absence? No, unfortunately, my sherpa is only there for another week and then he's off to his real job in the middle east. It dulls my festering rage though to know that the goal of shrugging this behemoth off my back will be that much closer. Other things may come my way this year (they always do) but this thing has 'stole my jam' for far too long. (enough sayings there?)
I'm actually looking forward to this weekend. I have to travel down to Calgary and see what has been done and settle up.
Now....
It's back to work and new year has dawned and there will be many many things we can gripe about this year. Lets hope we can find the humour in them.
Breaks:
I really only touched the computer if I had to. Therefore, no blog.
I only went to Calgary (for one day) once to work on the house.
Work of course.
The list of things I didnt get a break from is not important.
The holiday started off well enough, not working is generally a good thing. At least when you know that money is still coming in.
brief recap....
The inlaws came a little early and commandeered our room, but thats OK, cause they're old and not in the best of health. We couldnt really expect them to sleep on the double bed (or the couch). Unfortunately, my mother in law got sick the day they came and continued to be bedridden till the day they left. It really cast a pallor over the whole christmas thing. There was the gift opening and the dinner and it really was pretty good. I certainly have no complaints over either. I got some video games and ate a lot of junk food. The latter prompting the perennial 'I gotta get in shape this year... and I mean it this time!' resolution.
The boxing day sales did not dissapoint. I made the mad trip to the Tommy outlet and stocked up on some clothes.
Probably the coolest thing of the time period was the fact that I have a guy working on my house while im away. The feeling that things are being done in my absence is indescribable. Joy Oh Joy..... excuse me, Im a little verklempt.
Will the house be done in my absence? No, unfortunately, my sherpa is only there for another week and then he's off to his real job in the middle east. It dulls my festering rage though to know that the goal of shrugging this behemoth off my back will be that much closer. Other things may come my way this year (they always do) but this thing has 'stole my jam' for far too long. (enough sayings there?)
I'm actually looking forward to this weekend. I have to travel down to Calgary and see what has been done and settle up.
Now....
It's back to work and new year has dawned and there will be many many things we can gripe about this year. Lets hope we can find the humour in them.
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