Monday, November 20, 2006

Classes

The caste system is alive and well. I live in a world where education and for the most part knowledge is irrelevant, nothing can beat experience according to this system.

The key to winning any argument is to simply find out something that the other person does not have and then say that because they dont have that, then they dont know what they're talking about.

Example, I have a house, a car, a wife and a kid (amongst other things I do). Therefore, if I run across anyone without one these things then I outrank them and can safely disregard their advice. However, if someone has 2 kids, then they outrank me and I have to listen.This is commonly heard in the following (progressive) conversation examples:
'Single! Ha! you dont know how much free time you have! Just wait till you get married'
'Married? You dont have any kids yet? Ha You dont know how much free time you have! Just wait till you have a kid'
'Only one kid? Ha! You dont know how much free time you have! Just wait till you have 2 kids, or 3 kids, or 4, etc'.

There are special qualifiers such as twins, triplets (who outrank twins, by the way) and such. Twins outrank 2 'regular' kids, though if one of those kids has ADD, ADHD... I must say the negotiations can be tricky to work out who outranks who. This situation can only be decided by a knock down throw down spewing of outragious experiences and stories of hardship and trials experienced by each party. A third party is usually required to make a decision on who has 'suffered' more and is therefore the highest ranking parent. This is due to the fact that each parent in the dispute will be biased to themselves if the experiences are closely ranked in level of grossness, embarrassment, or physical harshness.

This system also extends to other activites as well. House ownership doesnt necessarily go by quantity but by how long one has been 'in the market'. Though this can be 'trumped' by doing some renovations. 'You havent renovated your own kitchen? PFFT! You dont know how easy you've had it!'

The beauty of this system is that the rules change on the fly and is only really limited by the strength of your internal convictions. 'Laws' here are subject to review and can be changed with a strong argument.

Now the more logical among you would say that just because Billy-Steve Williams has 10 kids doesnt make him an expert father. To this I say 'Do you have 10 kids?' No? Well then maybe when you have 10 kids you can say that washing the kids in the yard with a garden hose is not the correct way to bath the kids. I could use other examples, but I dont want to stereotype 10-kid families since I dont have a family that large myself.

It's hard to dispute that simple logic. Unless you've walked a mile in their shoes.....

Do we even bother to try? Maybe all laws should pretty much be thrown out in the face of such arguments since the only people that are truly capable of judging ourselves.... are ourselves.
Among other things, I've got a problem with the local 'maximum speed' laws, I can handle much faster speeds and therefore should be allowed to go much faster. I can safely double the speed of most off-ramp speed signs, and on a straight stretch, well let me tell you.... I CAN FLY!!! On that note I know there are much better drivers than myself, take professionals for instance... Race car drivers should be allowed to go pretty much whichever speed they want. Of course they get into accidents as well..... but it's usually the car's fault not theirs. So I suppose the car itself has to be taken into consideration when judging how fast Im allowed to drive...

I declare myself a country of one, ruled by me!

Of course, it'd be pretty lonely there, so maybe an association with other 'countries' might be a good idea. I guess there'd have to be agreed upon relations (rules if you will) so that we can come to some sort of compromise when dealing with each other. And of course my son really hasnt grown into a capacity where he can rule himself considering he still has to be changed and cant communicate what he wants with anything more than a scream and point in the general direction.

Then there's my wife, if I want to have relations (of any kind) with her I have to abide by the 'written in stone' rules that have been put into place. Now, I cant make everything myself, so I'll work for some other 'country' or countries that have the money I want to buy the things I need.
Geez, it's starting to sound like Im right back where I started! Just another citizen in a country filled where my behavoir is governed by officials who impose penalties based upon my actions and whether or not I've broken some law put into place in reaction to situations that I wasnt involved in and shouldnt be held subject to. Even though it might prevent me from making the same mistakes.....

But still.... if you havent renovated a house or sired a child, then you dont know what you're talking about!! So there!

5 comments:

Kris said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...love it!
(By the way I out rank you...LOL)
K.

Anonymous said...

4 kids, 2 grandkids, I outrank you all.............

The Voice of Reason said...

Boy everybody thinks they're special dont they?

Darcy said...

Got trumped with grand kids..... Would that be a full house then? or 4 of a kind with 2 wildcards?

Darcy said...

No not everyone is special Tony... According to your Caste system everyone is just more special than you... Well those with more than one kid. Although you still outrank most teenagers and newly married people... Or people without kids. Even if you manage to have twins... Unless they are identical (Cause that would be like a match set) I would outrank you because I have a cat... :)

So if you have 4 kids and I have 3 kids (two of which are very cute little twin boys) and a cat would that be considered equal? I mean the twins has to be 2.5 points and the cat has to be 1/2 of a point... That would put us at 4 points a piece....

Maybe we should introduce this system to the Government!!! It would take them years to manage a system like this. They would be so busy they wouldn't have time to steal our money!